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Vanilla

            Charlie says I’m stupid for liking vanilla ice cream.  He says chocolate’s better, but he’s the stupid one.  I got more smarts then him. Vanilla can be chocolate if you add the syrup. Vanilla can be what you want if you add the right thing.  Chocolate will just be chocolate no matter what you add.

            Charlie’s a chump.  I called him that to his face.  One time, he called me a stupid dumbass cause I always get vanilla and mix things in.  So I called him a chump.  Charlie the Chump.  I shoulda called him a fat greedyass retarded bastard, but he would’ve kicked the living shit outta me.  He don’t know nothing about not hitting girls.  So I just stuck to chump.

            And I always get the vanilla cause I’m not TOTALLY afraid of him.  I mix in a lot of crazy shit just to piss him off.  Time before last, I mixed in leftover macaroni and cheese.  It was beautiful and I actually liked it. 

            So this time I mixed cranberry sauce, corn bread and a little bird seed in my ice cream since I just fed Pebbles, our cockatoo. Course Charlie said I was a megastupid dumbass.  He got his BORING chocolate ice cream and started mixing in chocolate and peanut butter chips. 

            Thank God, a solicitor came to the door and Charlie had to answer it because he’s older. I finished fixing my ice cream bowl in peace and I went to the TV room to watch Nickelodeon.   Charlie came to the TV room, talking loudly on the phone to one of his dumb friends about what I mixed in my ice cream, but I didn’t care.  I just pretended to ignore him and face the TV.  Actually, I didn’t want him to know I was laughing at him. 

            When he went to the door, I mixed some bird shit in his ice cream!  Who’s the megastupid dumbass now, Charlie?