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Tribe of One (Introduction)


“If a woman is still single at thirty-five, then she’s either going to start dating younger men or buy a vibrator.” 

                                                       —–Salome Banks, single woman, twenty-something    

               Life would be so much easier if I were not a gay man trapped in a black woman’s body. At least it’s a beautiful black woman’s body. There is nothing mannish about it, which could be a source of power if I knew how to use it correctly. Instead, I keep trying to demonstrate my inner maleness. I’m assertive, independent, and to the point: the direct opposite of the dreamy-eyed virgin who is waiting for her Prince Charming to sweep her off her feet after slaying her dragons. (For the record, I never lost my virginity. I know exactly where I put it!) I slay my own dragons, which usually leaves a man dangling his sword in his hands, wondering where to stick it.       

                Now, I’m not the type of woman who sits around with her girlfriends and male bashes. If there is anyone I get along with less than men, it’s women. Women are clever and scheming by design, which is why I do not fully trust them. A lesson I learned after being betrayed by a so-called best friend in college.    

                 Yet that clever/scheming nature is perfect for men. Men are ruled by their dicks. Wherever it leads, they will blindly follow. That’s why a beautiful woman, such as me, should not have any problem with men. Unfortunately, my inner male cock-blocks. I want to be recognized and respected for my intellect and strength, not for my feminine attributes, which are getting harder to maintain now that I’m a mature thirty-something. Unfortunately, being so independent is an excellent way to turn off a man. Hell, I could give workshops about that. What I have to figure out is how to turn them on and keep them on.      

             One strategy is to improve my success rate by doubling my failure rate. The more guys I meet, the more I’ll be able to figure out how to interact successfully with them. To hedge my bets, I move to one of the top ten best places to meet other singles: Denver, CO.        

            In addition to making a geographical change, I have decided to create my own personal course on “How to Pick Up a Man and Still Be a Smart Woman.” The first step with any new endeavor is research. I set out to study other women to learn their approaches, tricks, and weapons.