When I received the invitation from a friend to enter a writing contest about “On Being Different,” especially when it came to some aspect of the medical field and/or studying, I immediately thought about my brief stint of selling health insurance over the phone. Since nothing happens in a vacuum, I began my piece on my first day of kindergarten. That was the day I learned that I was Black.

The consequences of that racial designation has influenced my experiences, which I summarized in my essay, published by On Pulse:

My second Halloween celebration was for the kids. Two local churches joined forces for a Trunk or Treat event on Sunday evening. As usual, my sister set up a face painting table, which is usually a very popular activity, but I helped direct interest her way with my costume like a living, breathing billboard of her handiwork.

Pumpkin Spice

Even from across the parking lot, everyone knew who I was dressed as. One mother told me once I reached the church grounds that her kids were so happy that Ahsoka was there. Apparently no one cared that I couldn’t keep that headpiece on straight. That was my main battle as this Star Wars character. At some point, I’ll have to finish watching the series. I only stopped because I was advised to watch “Clone Wars” first, so I could better understand what was happening in the latest series.

Halloween Duo

Last year, I’d set up the trunk of my car and ran a game, but this time around, my sister and I had joined forces at the same table. Although I ran my game and passed out candy, my main job was to keep the kids in an orderly line and get them to think about what they wanted painted on their face or arm.

Ghostly Game

We’d even set out three chairs for the kids to sit in as they waited. To a certain degree, that scheme kept things orderly, but as the crowd swelled, the line branched between a standing line and a sitting line. Fortunately, no fights broke out.

By the time my sister painted the last kid’s face, I had to shine a light just so she could see. After packing up our things, we walked back to her car to load up the supplies. A parent who was driving by, slowed down, rolled down her window and screamed, “Love your costume!”

Totally worth the effort. So happy that we could add to the festivities on such a beautiful evening for an outdoor event.

My sister believes that getting a lot of fresh air makes you sleepy. This event definitely proved that theory. Although I didn’t do any strenuous activity during this event, I was prematurely tired and slept well. One holiday, creatively spent. Six more in the next four months to go!

One of the first things I researched when I relocated to Fayetteville from Austin was finding a local film school, filmmaking group or something, anything to continue my path as an emerging filmmaker. Apparently, a similar motivation inspired the founders of this fabulous film festival eight years ago.

They had plotted all the film festivals around NC on a map and saw a ring around the city with the nearest events still about an hour away. Unlike me, they did something about it besides reading filmmaking books and writing scripts.

Too Many Wonderful Choices

I’d left my filmmaking network in Austin. Even the nearest Women in Film chapter in NC seemed to no longer meet. So, I focused my creative energy on digital illustrating and podcasting, interviewing my extended family for episodes of “Strange Family Folklore” (SFF).

Then, I received a miraculous email update about the movie I’d interned on the year before, “Shame Full.” Our short film had been selected for this local film festival. I’d received other updates about the movie, but this one hit very close to home. I felt energized at the prospect of seeing the film on the big screen and talking with the co-directors/co-producers IRL.

Proof

Imagine my disappointment, followed by my sheer surprise that the co-directors/co-producers couldn’t make it themselves, but offered me the honor of representing the film instead. As I checked out the festival schedule, I discovered that on Saturday night, when our film would show, I had a previous, equally exciting event. Unbelievable. Nothing interesting hardly ever happens in Fayetteville. Thanks to the flexibility of the organizers, they accommodated my schedule and included our film in the noon block.

I took Friday off, so I could still swim a mile like I normally do on Fridays after work and run my Saturday morning errands. For me, that was clearing my schedule. Instead of swimming laps, I was on time for a water aerobics class that was about as strenuous as a mile-long swim, especially since the instructor noticed that I’d grabbed a small pool noodle instead of a large one. She upgraded my noodle. Granted, I was at least ten years younger than the rest of the other women and she knew I needed more of a challenge.

Proof w/ Balloons

Toward the end of the class, a woman shared that a film festival was beginning later that night. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, “My film is in that festival!” Everyone’s electrified smile encouraged me to explain that “Shame Full” was about how a mother had internalized body shaming all her life, but realized she needed to make a change when she discovered her daughter internalizing the same trauma.

The Friday night opening film, “Black Barbie,” premiered at The Cameo theatre. Initially, I thought that extraordinary documentary had capitalized on the success of the “Barbie” movie; however, toward the end of the film, the audience learned that the filmmaker took 12 years to capture the story of Mattel’s first Black Barbie. Part of that fascinating journey was told by the filmmaker’s aunt, who’d worked for Mattel for decades. Even though the filmmaker was not available for Q & A, I was excited to hear that the film had been picked up by Netflix.

My Block

Saturday morning, I watched a feature film, “Witnessed,” in The Cameo theatre. One humorous detail that I detected throughout this otherwise male-driven thriller was that two out of three women who had a speaking part had put money in their bra as part of their hustle. Again, the filmmaker wasn’t available for Q & A, but I would have definitely asked them about that detail.

The Q & A Interview

Afterwards, I trekked up two very long, steep flights of stairs to The Loge theatre, where our film was shown. Had I originally thought that I’d miss exercising on Saturday due to attending a daylong festival, I would have been mistaken! The comfortableness of the plush seats in that small theatre was a godsend. The best reward was seeing “Shame Full” on a big screen for the first time, especially immersed with other moving shorts in that block.

Prior to my viewing block, I reminded myself to be gracious to the other filmmakers during the 15-minute Q & A since I tend to get “diarrhea of the mouth.” Turns out, I was the only filmmaker present for that block. No one even had to ask me a question to get the session going. I was so excited to be there. I explained that my Marvel hero sounding film credit, “Sound Shadow,” meant that I had been an intern with the sound department. I then explained my interest with that department was due to being a podcaster, but honestly, I was happy to get in where I fit in.

Post Interview Pose

I shared with the audience that the one of the filmmakers and I were on the inaugural board for the Austin Chapter of Women in Film and TV. Through that connection, I’d first read and provided feedback for the script and liked the story because it dealt with generational trauma. I was also impressed with how quickly the funding, cast and crew came together rather than the idea languishing for months. I told everyone that we filmed with COVID precautions in place. Besides that level of comfort, I felt that the set had been a safe place since 60% of the crew were women and a higher percentage were people of color.

The interviewer managed to get in a few questions of her own. When asked what had been my favorite scene, I said that every time I see the bathroom scene, I fondly recall how the cinematographer had stuffed himself under the bathroom sink to get the shot. When asked about something strange happening on set, I shared how I’d walked up and found a lost earring in the grass by using logic since everyone else had been looking in the wrong spot. I also shared how I’d brought my music stand for the tablet, so the directors could conveniently see what the cinematographer was seeing. The interviewer also surprised me with her comment that the pattern of my dress reminded her of film. Now, I will always associate that dress with film.

With the Festival Founders

I watched as many other short films as I could before jetting home to eat, then making a dramatic dress change. Fortunately, my sister is an art teacher, which was the only way I transformed into Ahsoka within 30 minutes. My dance studio had its Halloween-themed teacher-student presentation. That spectacular event, however, will be next week’s blog post.

Saturday Night Dance Event

On Sunday midmorning, I attended the awards BBQ lunch. Many of the award winners had already left town, which meant that there was plenty of leftover wine. With the help of one of the festival board members, we gathered an unopened bottle of Merlot with a twist-off cap and some plastic cups.

Award-Winning Filmmakers

I had no trouble finding other festival goers to share wine with. We spent a lovely afternoon sipping wine in The Loge theatre, watching the festival award-winning films.

Winners w/ Founders

I left the theatre inspired. Two cousins, both of whom I’d interviewed for SFF, had each given me a DVD with interviews about our extended family. Up until now, I had not viewed them because I had no way to view them, much less edit them. I ordered a piece of equipment to rip those DVDs. My goal is to enter the finished documentary into this film festival.

Group Picture

On sunny Sunday mornings, I trek to my former junior high school from home. As much as I hated that walk when I was younger, I now love it since I’m not obligated to do it.

Early Morning Duck Crossing

For this outing, a flock of ducks distracted me more than the schoolyard litter. They stopped me in my tracks. Not that they were the least bit aggressive. Quite the opposite.

Spreading Out

I sensed that they saw me since their pattern changed. Stopping at a respectable distance, I allowed the ducks to cross with minimum perturbation by my presence.

Promenade

Usually, I consider my Sunday strolls to be faster than leisurely, but definitely not a power walk. I’m not so much trying to elevate my heart rate as to keep it beating healthily. For once, I wasn’t rushing to be somewhere else. After all, the only real scheduled thing I had to do was make breakfast for Dad and me.

Field Buffet

For Dad, every day is essentially the same. He doesn’t experience the weekend joy of sleeping in. When he awakes, he wants his breakfast. Not that I mind. I’m a breakfast eater, myself.

Stragglers

The challenge is, balancing my weekend schedule while not disrupting his schedule too much. If anything goes astray, Mom has to pick up the slack. That’s something I definitely don’t want to do, especially since she’s already the primary caregiver. She doesn’t often have reliable attendants and no help on Sundays, which she’s trying to change.

When I was younger, I wanted to buy my parents a house. That’s not happened, yet I’d love to buy my own house, all on one level for them to move in with me. Ever the optimist, thinking that my art will cash out. Lord knows it won’t be the 9 to 5.