For our 84th consecutive Strange Family Reunion, we had some brand-new activities along with improvements on classic activities, making this year’s gathering fresh for everyone.
One of our continuing traditions was the flag display. The Ghanaian flag represented part of the story of where our family DNA came from. As a matter of fact, that was one of the reasons nine of us visited Ghana for two weeks.
In recent years, we have incorporated a reunion theme.
This year’s reunion theme was the 70s and Soul Train.
On Friday, along with our usual fish fry, one of my cousins had invited her line-dancing group to perform. Her purpose was twofold: entertainment and education. She shared that her line-dancing class was a wonderful way to stay in shape and socialize. Another dancer was a member of the medical field and told us some facts about the link between exercise and good health.
One of the needles we thread at our reunions is hosting a variety of activities for different age groups, especially for younger relatives and the young at heart. There was a field day (balloon toss, basketball, volleyball, cornhole, dodgeball) for the kids on Saturday morning while I interviewed 21 Jesse Strange descendants for my podcast, Strange Family Folklore.
Additionally, another cousin, an accomplished quilter whose works have been a part of several exhibitions, arranged a one-day popup exhibition.
Her quilts depict African American subject matter along with more personalized family quilts. Below are two examples where her siblings and their children decorated a square to represent themselves.
Even the fabric that served as the base for the quilting squares, reminds the African diaspora of our roots.
My cousin provided the family an opportunity to create our own representative squares, which will eventually be made into a quilt. My square depicts my childhood nickname, “Tweety Bird,” and my dreads.
Another continuing tradition was the hayride, which occurred multiple times on Friday and Saturday. This year’s route had been expanded to include the Strange cemetery.
I had not visited since that rainy day when we buried my Uncle Floyd in 2023. (Please click on individual pictures to see the full view, then click on the browser back arrow to return to blog view.)
For the first time ever, the Strange family reunion rented a nearby venue to host our Saturday evening catered dinner and entertainment. The organizers encouraged everyone to dress up as their favorite decade.
Never one to pass up on a chance to dress in costume, all I needed to complete my look was a larger-than-life Afro wig. I already owned the bellydancing pants and top. Majority of my relatives who’d known me all their lives, didn’t recognize me initially.
On Sunday, our very own ordained members of the cloth presided over church under the Strange shelter.
For me, the most intriguing thing my cousin said during her sermon was: “There’s no piece of dirt that is any better than another piece of dirt. We’ve all come from the dirt and to the dirt we will return.”
That resonated with me. The only thing that has ever stopped me from achieving something was the lack of time devoted to the endeavor. Not the lack of money or talent.
The real challenge: how will we spend our limited time from dirt creation to dirt reunification? If that seems too big a question, then scale it back to this: what can be done between now and the next family reunion? Stay tuned.
Proving both sayings that “the best-laid plans go awry” and “when life give you lemons, make lemonade,” my family and I went to a museum in Maryland on a Sunday to see our cousin Percy Martin’s exhibit only to discover that the building was closed. One of my sisters persuaded a maintenance man to unlock the art building’s side door, yet the gallery itself was also closed. Prominently displayed on the gallery window were the hours: Mon-Fri from 11 AM-4PM.
Unexpected Historical Facet
We saw other paintings and a set of cardboard pieces arranged in 3D shapes, which were obviously class projects. The exhibit that resonated with me was the brief history lesson about systemic racism in the surrounding area. After seeing on the news how Floridian institutions have been under attack for such content, it was refreshing to witness.
A Deeper Dive
We couldn’t find anyone else in the building to open the gallery. One of my sisters questioned two different people in the parking lot as we were about to leave. Both said they couldn’t open the gallery, so she texted Percy’s daughter to see if we could visit the artist himself. In the meantime, she called another cousin who had attended the artist talk the month before.
Lunch Break
While sitting in the car, talking to our cousin in attempt to come up with Plan B, my sister spotted a third person in the parking lot. She handed off her phone to our sister to approach that person. Next thing we knew, they started walking out of the parking lot in the opposite direction of the museum. By the time I realized that none of us had any means to communicate with her, she and the dude she’d approached were out of sight. All I could think of was, “What a perfect ‘Taken’ situation and none of us have a special set of skills.” I just prayed that that unsuspecting dude was a nice guy with no general woman-abduction scenarios in his back pocket.
Before We Go
After an uncomfortable amount of time, she returned, telling us that the guy had escorted her to the student union in hopes that someone there would have keys to the museum or the student union gallery. They’d struck out on both pursuits. I told her next time to use someone else’s phone to call her phone and check in with us. She hadn’t thought of that, but at least she was fine.
Humble Beginnings of an Artist
Our Plan B: go over to another cousin’s house who lived near Percy. We’d finally heard back from Percy’s daughter who invited us to come over for a visit after two. That was a few hours away, so we had an enjoyable time at our cousin’s house, including eating pizza since we were out later than anticipated. Originally, we wanted to hit the road back to NC by then, but we figured talking to the artist himself would make the whole trip worth while.
Prolific Artist
We truly got more than we bargained for. My cousin and her husband drove separately to Percy’s house since they showed us how to get there and would drive back home. Instead they stayed the entire time, which turned out to be over an hour, thanks to me.
Passing on the Knowlege
As soon as we arrived at Percy’s house, I introduced myself to him and asked if I could interview him for my podcast. He was ready to go. As a matter of fact, he invited me into his studio where we had a quieter environment to conduct the recording. He started, unprompted, telling me his story.
Here was an artist who had been interviewed so many times, he already knew several places to begin, leaving me to catch up. When he took a breath, I informed him that I was recording, which I don’t know if he cared or not, but it still seemed like the ethical thing to do.
From there, I was amazed at the life he led during his childhood when he discovered at age 8 that he wanted to be an artist and the famous people who he crossed paths with by virtue of living in D.C. As enthralled as I was by his back to back stories that flowed from one to the next, I was mindful of the time.
My original plan was to keep the interview at a tight 30 minutes, but he was still going strong with his storytelling. Once we blew through the 30-minute mark, I watched him to see if I detected a look of fatigue cross his face as did when I’d interviewed one of my uncles who was in his 90s. No such look appeared since I believe he’d had a nap prior to our visit. Not only that, but he admitted once the interview concluded that no one had been by to see him in a while. Such a heartbreaking admission to hear from a vibrant storyteller.
Another cousin, who had attended his artist talk a month earlier, shared her photographic documentation of the event:
While interviewing one of my cousins for the latest episode of “Strange Family Folklore: Where the Paper Trail Meets the Genetic Trail,” she kept referring to “Anne Swanson.” Nearly a week prior to our interview, I’d discovered a report that detailed Anne Swanson’s extended family, who were my maternal grandfather’s mother’s side of the family.
We came across the report when my sister and I organized the pantry part of our parents’ front closet. As I looked at the family trees contained in the report, I found several different Annes. Not only that, but Anne Swanson had a daughter whose middle name was also “Anne,” which she chose to go by rather than her first name.
Throughout the report, last names were dropped from family trees and people were referred to by their nicknames in some places and their Christian names in others. That alone motivated me to update the report.
As I studied the family trees, I came across a branch I knew the most about: my maternal grandfather and his children, including Mom. To my horror, my aunt who’d died in childhood, was not listed as one of the children. I knew that once I finished the post production of the latest SFF episode, I’d start updating the report.
My usual approach to any project, is to work a little at a time. Before diving into the update, I researched how to create a family tree with the Word doc tools. Next, I researched how to select some pages to appear landscape style while others are portrait.
I read how to do those things for two reasons. First, to know that the program had the capability, and secondly, I wanted to jump into recreating those family trees.
Apparently the Anne who’d put the report together also placed a high priority on the family trees. She’d used graphing paper to neatly organize each family tree and had oriented the paper landscape style to provide more room.
There have been many innovations since 1978 when the report was completed. Once I have retyped and updated what already exists in the report, then I will begin filling out who people were beyond the one-sentence descriptions as found in several places.
This isn’t a criticism of Anne’s work. I appreciate her laying the foundation. According to her own description, she was a very accomplished person who may not have had the time or help to flesh out every family member’s entry.
I’m going to do my best to advance what she put in motion.
I never met my Great Uncle Daniel AKA “Uncle Down,” who was the third child of my Great Grandfather Jesse and his second wife, Great Grandmother Lucy.
Yet, from the colorful stories I’ve heard about Uncle Down, I recognized the vibrant spirit that runs throughout my family.
Fortunately, I interviewed two of my older relatives for the Strange Family Folklore podcast. One of whom, my mother, Velma Mae Roberson nee Strange, reminisced fondly about how Uncle Down’s horse tricks and broom dancing in “Uncle Down, the Horse Trickster” episode.
On the other hand, one of my second cousins, Ted Strange, Jr., who is a year younger than Mom, painted a vivid picture of Uncle Down’s tobacco farming and moonshining in “The Daring Uncle Down” episode.
Two things that both Mom and Cousin Ted drove home was how Uncle Down and his wife, Aunt Carrie, absolutely loved children even though they had none of their own. Secondly, on their fertile property grew a veritable garden of Eden’s worth of fruit. Given Mom’s and Cousin Ted’s descriptions, I can almost taste all that homegrown produce.
The consolation prize of not having videos of Uncle Down’s horse tricking and broom dancing are the firsthand eyewitness accounts recorded for future generations to enjoy.
I couldn’t believe that more than two months had passed since I’d interviewed my sister. Although I didn’t have to start at the very beginning of my learning curve when it came to setting up the USB mics, recording, transcribing the audio file, editing the file and exporting it to be embedded into this blog post, I almost forgot the details of how to do it. Almost.
This time around the whole process went much smoother than the first time. I spent far less time beating my head against the wall, which meant I didn’t dwell in trial and error land. I actually fine tuned my editing skills. I still have room for improvement, but this clip is much cleaner than the one I edited when I interviewed my sister.
The best part: since my roommate, Stephanie, always talks about narcissists, AKA “narcs,” I’ve got plenty of opportunity to interview her for a multi-part series.
As an added bonus, here’s the edited transcript:
Teresa Roberson 0:00 Hello, Stephanie.
Stephanie 0:02 Hello, Teresa.
Teresa Roberson 0:04 How you doing today?
Stephanie 0:06 Well, you know, I do narc research and race research. So, as well as can be expected.
Teresa Roberson 0:14 You know, you say "as well as to be expected," but I'm thinking "Oh, is that why you're mad? Is that why you're mad every day?"
Stephanie 0:22 No, dude. And being able to see so much the connectivity between racism and narcissism. What I'm learning through my research is that a lot of people's trauma behavior, make sense. Like a lot of people who do things that that might irritate a lot of people. There is usually a very simple reason why they're doing it. Well, I say "simple," but basically, there is a reason why they do it. And you can actually try sift through their behavior.
Teresa Roberson 1:02 When did you start doing your research on narcissism?
Stephanie 1:06 A friend of mine sent me a video with Dr. Ramani Durvasula last year and said, "Hey, you should watch this video." And it was about narcissism and Dr. Ramani Durvasula is the most well-known scholar on narcissism and I watched it and I was like, "Oh, dear goodness." And I listened to that video, while simultaneously reading How to Hide an Empire by Daniel Immerwahr. And I noticed the patterns, the ups and downs, the boredom, the thrill seeking. Everything about this is almost every single page I've been reading from this American history book and the more I read about history, and the more I see what the plans for the future are, the more I see the patterns, especially in our current paradigm in the United States.
Teresa Roberson 2:14 So, what are the narcissistic patterns that you've noticed?
Stephanie 2:19 So, the biggest ones that I've seen are control without responsibility because narcissism at its core is an impulse problem. And so, what was the originating impulse problem? Some European sailors came to the continents, saw something they liked, and wanted it. Well, indigenous people were like, yeah, we live here. Yet have some food, get rested and peace out. And the European sailor was like, “You know what? No, I don't feel like doing that.” And so, the different indigenous groups were like “Yeah, ya know, but we didn't, no this is, this is where we live, and it's fine that you want to come visit, but you don't understand how this works. And there's even research that's just been shown that says because of the quote unquote exploration that occurred, that's actually what set off climate change, ie you basically had a whole bunch of people come and take over an area, not knowing how it works, not knowing the ecosystem patterns and how to sustain them and broke it. Basically, the indigenous people kept trying to say “no.” And the European settlers just said, "No, you don't get to say ‘no.’" They changed laws. They change circumstances. The most obvious permutation is ironically, our neighborhood with Domain Riverside, ie, people live here. People have lives here. And because somebody sent a nice PDF to the city council and the planning commission, well, that's the end of our neighborhood. We're just gonna go ahead and add Domain Riverside. So, control without responsibility is the biggest element of narcissism that I've seen throughout my research.
Teresa Roberson 4:47 So how is it that some foreigner can come to an indigenous land and say, "This is the law."
Stephanie 4:56 And that is what people have basically failed to see. For example, we are having a pipeline struggle both with Canada and in South Dakota. And the reservations are, of course, the last vestiges of these “foreign countries,” for lack of a better definition. And they've basically said, “No, you actually don't get to run this pipeline through here. We live here. This will destroy our water when we're done here.” Yes. And the way you do it is by force. And so, one of the reasons why the reservations got so much, why "reservation" is even a term that we're familiar with, is because a foreigner refused to hear a "no," knew that they were not entitled to it, but decided that because they wanted it, it was theirs. They used force and basically decimated hundreds of thousands of people in favor of their perception of reality because another part of narcissism is a false reality. It's you have one vision of how the world should be, whether or not the world is actually that, is not necessary and it's not relevant. But because of your vision, you're entitled to, to fulfill your vision, even if it comes at the expense of someone else.
Teresa Roberson 6:33 All right, so you talked about force. Is it just weapons?
Stephanie 6:37 It is not just weapons. And it's interesting that you said the law because what happened during the quote unquote, American Revolution. Well, basically, some foreigners came over, decided I see it, I want it, it's mine. And then they crafted this Constitution, which included eminent domain, which says that the government can seize land if it's for the good of the country. Well, that's basically saying, "I know you said 'no,' but my 'yes' is more powerful. And I just changed the law. And because I changed the paradigm, and refused to acknowledge your 'no,' it's actually 'yes' now." And if you're like, "Look, but Stephanie, that makes no sense." You're right, it does make no sense. And that is what is happening right now. We're kind of in an era of disillusionment, where everything about the propaganda about the founding fathers and fighting for freedom that had nothing to do with the creation of this nation. This was all about, I see it, I want it, it's mine. And they put all of the elements they created a heck of a marketing campaign that basically said, "Oh, yes, and because we created these laws, your laws are irrelevant. I'm sorry, we have guns and that backs up our laws. It's kind of like the College Board was created so that black people couldn't go to college. And people will often say, "Oh, but we need the SATs and the GREs because how would we know that everybody's worthy to go to college? And it's like, you realize that college was not mainstream. And that was not that was something that everybody could or could not choose to do. And when black people finally realized, "Hey, you know, we like to nerd out. Let's all go to school too. They then said, "Well, we don't want you here. So, we're going to create this barrier that basically says, "Oh, you can't get prep, you can't learn how to do this, then you won't be here." So, when the dominant narrative basically adds a barrier, or shifts the paradigm, that's basically telling people that, you know, with enough propaganda, people get used to the idea that that's the way it always was. And that just makes sense. And what is so frustrating to so many people actually in the dominant narrative now is everybody's like, but we literally had no right to do all of those things. People just did them. They just did them and then they created a fake piece of paper and created a fake system that said, "No, the answer is ‘yes’ now." That was backed by force. So that is the narcissus’s greatest tool, their reality and their demand that everybody adhere to it.
Teresa Roberson 10:00 Thank you so much, Stephanie, for at least explaining the beginnings of your narcissism research.
Stephanie 10:06 Oh yeah. Don't worry, there'll be more.
Here’s another piece of my upcoming podcast puzzle: an expiring link that limits a response to 1000 characters for future listeners to submit an episode-inspired poem. Although I figured out the mechanics of providing such a link, five other challenges arose.
First, I didn’t know who submitted what unless the writer included his/her name. Some people naturally did that, whereas others didn’t. I warned a few before they submitted their piece and they identified their work.
Second, the link allowed writers to copy and paste their submission, but it didn’t preserve the poem’s format, so I had to “fix” them manually. I used my best guess. Yet, even among friendly poets, I may have unintentionally offended them with my guesswork formatting.
Third, once my podcast becomes popular, fixing poetry formats manually would not be scalable. I could hire a part-time person to handle poetry submissions, but would that be the best use of their time? After all, that particular aspect of the podcast is free, so the position itself isn’t directly sustainable.
Fourth, one friend submitted a delightful short poem, written by a famous poet, so I can’t put that one on the blog. That submission reminded me that I should have included another response area where poets could type their name in response to a disclaimer that what they’re submitting is their original work, which would actually solve the first challenge as well.
Finally, I came up with the brilliant idea that I’d run my podcast like a seasonal TV show. Meaning, I’d have all episodes in the can before launching the first one. After eight years of having a monthly deadline, there’s no way in hell I want to jump through those temporal hoops again. So, how to handle an “expiring” link when subscribers will have the chance to download all the episodes if they wanted to binge-listen to them all at once rather than listen once a week? Oh, I know, I’m not going to do this bit until the podcast has been around a few seasons and then I can revisit it.
Tenderness
2019 was a terrible year In my personal world And the world at large. Tenderness is missing. Something we search for in the midst of harshness, indifference, even cruelty. How many times have I cried for tenderness. As a child I cried for it. As a young woman. And now As I’ve arrived at the door to old age, I find tenderness has been crying for me. ~ Grace Lightfoot Chairez
Cowgirl She is a whirlwind cowgirl in the wild, Wild West. She rides fast and unaltered towards her battle, her quest. She keeps truth in her holster, and knocks dignity from her boot. She is shielding a treasure (Her mind is the loot.) Destined for a lofty, pensive plateau, She leaves a trail of inspiration wherever she goes. The deserts are wide, and the journey is long, But the hills on the horizon Prod the cowgirl on. The white hat and the black hat, they fit her best As she rides hard towards the sun In the wild, Wild West. ~Becky Rebecca
A Poem For You
Shall I be witty Shall I be cute Show you my heart Or deny I’m a fluke Shall I show you my humor In meter and prose Or make funny faces And tickle your toes Shall I sing you a love song Seduce you with rhyme Or show you my treasures And remind you of time Shall I brag of adventures And the battles I’ve won Or talk of my dreams And the birth of my sons Shall I show you my feelings Reveal deepest thoughts Or spin a web of deceit And hide all my faults Shall I tell you of visions When I look in your eyes Of a mother’s last breath And a baby’s first cries Shall I whisper of passion And desires new flame Or hold you beside me Softly calling your name Shall I tell you I want you To have and to hold Or pretend I’m indifferent Stubborn and cold Shall I ask the question Down on one knee Or let time roll by And just let it be Shall I tell you I love you I’m here till the end What else can I do You’re my best friend ~Jim Tenny
Last December, my sister invited herself to the grand finale of The Austin Writers Roulette.
Closing a show that I’d produced and hosted for eight years was stressful enough without entertaining a surprise out-of-town guest. She’d never watched any of the video clips of the show nor looked at any of the mostly pictorial summaries, but she didn’t want to miss the last show.
Around this time, I’d just bought two professional USB microphones and had figured out how to use them after more trial and error than I’d anticipated. Since my sister had invited herself, I figured she’d make an excellent guinea pig to interview, so I could go through the process of recording, running the audio clip through a transcription service and editing it.
Rendering the clip to this point was a tremendous labor of love, but I still have a ways to go.
Confessions of a Hat: Bamboo and Bones. A member of my writing group brought some of her hat collection. She thought it would be fun for us to wear them during the meeting. At the time, we were seated at a restaurant patio. In 105-degree weather. In the shade. With at least two fans blowing on us. No one wore any hats during that meeting. Instead, we chose to write a hat-inspired poem. I knew just the hat.
It inspired me to write my most haunting poem to date.
Ebullient Frog. Occasionally, I attend a monthly writers’ event, which features a theme word. Throughout the course of a word’s existence, not only may its connotation change, but thanks to the changing times, its definition may take on a slightly different meaning, while at the same time retain the original meaning. Here’s my take on the meaning of the word “ebullient.”
Black Hair Products. Ten years ago, I joined a hot yoga studio. Although my main objective then, as is now, was to strengthen both physical and mental health, I’ve had the most wonderful opportunities to exchange a wealth of information and ideas with other women yogis in the locker room. This PSA-styled poem sprang to life after a yoga class when I struck up a conversation with a woman who identified as being white who was using a “mixed hair” product.
When it came to recording audio for my upcoming podcast, I thought it was merely an issue of buying professional-quality microphones, plugging them in and then riding that steep GarageBand learning curve. There were many more invisible steps involved in this journey, which didn’t take me very far, but I needed to take them.
Once I watched several YouTube videos and read many Googled articles, both URL microphones activated at the same time. I consulted more videos and online articles to learn how to record each microphone on two separate tracks.
After several failed attempts, I invited my roommate to watch the latest batch of videos with me to see if I’d missed anything while reviewing the notes I took the first few times I watched them.
This time around, I did something different. And that magical moment, in all its profanity, is captured below:
If I’ve ever teased my parents as they grappled with new technology, they have now been avenged!
This past July, I signed up to sell CBD even before I’d tried this particular formulation. When I attended the Zilis business presentation, I jumped at the opportunity to make residual income since I had grown tired of trading time for money. The compensation program appealed to me. Plus, I figured with the rising popularity of CBD and after the passing of Farm Bill 2018, the time was right to launch a business that wouldn’t take any salesy technique to attract people. As a matter of fact, all the company asked us to do was share our experience with the product with other people.
Once I received my starter kit and began microdosing CBD daily, my priorities reversed. I slept better, experienced less stress, and the inflammation throughout my body lessened to the extent that I achieved far more flexibility in yoga classes.
My friends and fellow yogis bought CBD sublingual and topical from me based solely on my experience. Even so, my passion has never been in sales. My first career had been teaching secondary math and science. The teacher in me wanted to more know about hemp products and their interaction with the endocannabinoid system.
Yet, I’d signed up to sell CBD products. I had to find a way to undertake the endeavor that best suited my skill set.
For over a year, I explored the film industry. I checked out different aspects of the industry to see where I could land. Since I’d produced and hosted a spoken word and storytelling show for the past 8 years and had written 2 books, the natural fits seemed to be writing and directing. Even so, something about my current finances and the expense to make even a crappy short film turned me off.
While attending a film producers’ Meetup, I had a conversation with another writer who had produced a few scenes of a show that she’d written, but had to put on hold because she’d run out of money. Another producer suggested that if her show was more narrative based versus visual, she’d save a lot of money turning her show into a podcast.
The suggestion energized me.
Instead of begging for money to make a movie, I’d write scripts for a podcast. After all, I’d completed a screenwriting class at the beginning of 2019, so I knew that I could tweak the one script I’d written for audio.
By the time I’d signed up to sell CBD and heard their suggestion to share my CBD experience, I married that idea with launching a podcast. By producing a podcast about CBD, I could merge two objectives rather than continue juggling many divergent projects, which would divide up my time.
I signed up for a daylong podcasting workshop. The most vital content consideration for creating a successful podcast is writing an engaging story. Regardless of whether the story was fiction or nonfiction, stories entertain the masses. I’d learned that as the producer of The Austin Writers Roulette.
The most vital technical aspect is capturing high quality sound. I sprung for 2 high-quality microphones since I plan to have one-on-one interviews with CBD users and experts.
I waited until the weekend to test the mics by interviewing my roommate. At least that was the plan. I never want to induce insomnia by trying out a new technology during the week after work. I’ve lived and learned. Once again, that was the correct choice.
I started very simply and naively by plugging in both USB mics. I immediately saw that another step was needed since I could select one or the other mic, but not both at the same time. I searched on Google and found several videos. I took notes about creating an “aggregate device.”
Past that hurdle, I spent nearly an hour figuring out GarageBand. Namely, how to get my roommate’s and my recordings on separate tracks. I watched video after video, all overlapping in most areas. Any unique tidbit of information had me tearing off to review what I’ve done, the specs of my laptop OS, the version of GarageBand…Turns out, most of the videos were showing older versions of mics and GarageBand. Commands weren’t found in the same places are called the same thing.
Then, I got my golden piece of information: enable multitrack or whatever the hell it’s called. I can’t even remember what all I did because during the umpteenth thing that I tried and it worked, I was no longer taking notes. My roommate and I were just talking about the process instead of the interview I’d planned to have with her. But the point is, we recorded on separate tracks!
