From Jugs to Lugs

Admittedly, I had low expectations when my sister and I planned to take an overnight trip to visit the NASCAR Hall of Fame in Charlotte, NC. The biggest attraction for me was to simply get out of town for a spell. Although I’d made hotel reservations, I had no idea how well I’d done until we got there. Even the rainy weather couldn’t spoil this trip.

My sister and I hadn’t coordinated who was bringing what for this trip. Everything just so happened to work out. I’d bought two types of alcohol and she’d bought some delicious pastries. Both hit the spot by the time we’d checked into the hotel after 8 PM.

The next morning, I lifted the shades only to discover that the NASCAR Hall of Fame was just across the street. When I’d booked the room, the hotel confirmed my reservation, but warned me that, for some reason, GPS and other such apps, erroneously showed the location of the hotel. In order to get to the correct location, the hotel suggested that we use the parking garage address instead. Now I understood what that meant.

As much fun as we had in our room, breakfast was another joy. I know it sounds as if we don’t get out much, but I’m glad we could appreciate the small things in life. We hit the self-serve breakfast right on time since there was no line. She made a fresh waffle and I constructed a breakfast biscuit with premade ingredients.

Once we stored our things in the car, we crossed the street and walked the long block to the entrance. The rain wasn’t too bad, but I get annoyed by raindrops on my glasses, hence the umbrella. We stowed our jackets and umbrellas when we checked in.

Part of the check-in process was activating our card, which allowed us to use the interactive screens. In addition to that, we took our picture and had the option of putting our names, two favorite drivers, and a favorite NASCAR car on the jumbotron. As for my favorite drivers, I chose the race car driver one of my mother’s bosses jokingly called Mom since she liked to drive fast. My other favorite driver, Bubba Wallace, the first Black NASCAR driver since 1971 when Wendell Scott drove in NASCAR’s top entry.

I’m sure my sister just chose two names that she’d heard of.

Just before we took a trip down the Glory Road, we heard an announcement that the 12-minute NASCAR documentary was about to start.

I probably learned the most I was going to learn during that 12-minute film because my mind was preoccupied by one fact.

NASCAR grew out of bootlegging.

It all made sense. NASCAR wasn’t just about driving really fast, making left turns and walking away from some of the fieriest car crashes.

Bootleggers had two options: deliver the goods and make money or get caught and go to jail.

Hence, bootleg drivers developed spectacular driving skills to evade the police.

What amazes me is that for all the high-techness involved with the cars, the track, and then the sheer driving skills, the pioneers did it all by instinct, bravado and luck.

This first time I’d heard of Bubba Wallace wasn’t due to his first win, but rather the suspicion of racism at NASCAR, which turned out, after investigation, to be an inadvertent incident.

Yet, unfortunately, you never know when some incident isn’t merely paranoia/hypersensitivity without an investigation. Many times, a Black person doesn’t have the resources for such.

Most of these drivers I’d never heard of.

Still, I appreciated the focus, effort and determination to win.

Now, is it just me or are there far more speedways than one can shake a stick at?

For some reason, any time there was a speedway track sample, I had to rub it.

Now, that wasn’t for good luck, but to get a literal feel for what drivers had to work with when the rubber met the road.

In addition to the texture, the degree to which the track is elevated, known as “banking,” also affects how fast the drivers fly around the oval.

A phenomenon I was able to experience at one point on the Glory Road at 34 degrees.

My sister didn’t even bother to experience banking although she could have tried an alternative banking experience.

Now, this was the only car that knew about when I saw it.

Here’s to Mom’s driving spirit animal.

At this point, I wasn’t sure that my sister noticed the difference among Dale Earnhardt Sr, Jr and Dale Jarret.

We took a break from walking around to appreciate the Glory Road panorama.

Anyone who thought that only women enjoyed putting a ring on it, stands corrected.

Ditto for gold.

Of course, they blinged out the helmets.

I never thought about how they gassed up the cars.

What a coincidence, the only Black POTUS was the only US president pictured in the Hall of Fame.

Continuing a theme…

Of course, I had to get picture of the only woman in the Hall of Honor.

By the time we got to this part of the museum, my sister started to get restless.

So, even though I found the interactive displays interesting, especially the one that showed the innovations that helped the cars cut through the air and use it to their advantage, she was ready to try the simulation.

In our excitement, we stood in the simulation line first before being sent to the qualifying simulation.

Unlike the REAL qualifiers, no one fails this simulation. The entire endeavor was merely a sneaky pants way to teach everyone how to use the technology. Two things I knew: I wouldn’t use both feet to work the gas and break petals and I wasn’t going to shift gears.

My sister did better than I did. Apparently, crashing and burning on the track did not penalize a driver.

I, on the other hand, drove like I was driving Miss Daisy.

Nonetheless, we re-entered the simulation line. By far the most fun interactive in the entire place.

Actually, some visitors may argue that the interactive where you change tires as fast as possible was the most fun, but we steered clear of that manual labor disguised as fun. We heard the drills going off and on, competing to see who could change tires the fastest, the whole time we were in line for the driving simulator.

I’m not sure if this car was sponsored by Cheddar’s the restaurant nor am I too invested to find out. That car was already taken by the time we registered.

Since each car accommodated two drivers, I chose to be on the lefthand side.

Although a divider split the car in half, I could still hear my sister on the other side, complaining about how the compartment was too small and low.

A glitch caused the screens to go black, giving us an opportunity to take a selfie with our car.

During the simulation, I still didn’t shift gears, but I threw caution to the wind and used both feet to work the gas and brake pedals. I crashed and burned a few times, but at least I beat my sister. As she put it, we placed in the top 10. How optimistic, considering there were 14 drivers.

I must admit, after the simulation, I was just about ready to leave. That’s part of the reason I wanted to save it for last.

Yet, there was one more bright spot on the fourth floor.

I’d never seen a moonshine set up before.

All I knew was that my bootlegging relatives used lots of sugar and that moonshine was best served in eggnog.

It was only a matter of time that the entrepreneurial spirit motivated someone to monetize the skills of former bootleg drivers.

Now the dude photobombing my picture claimed that he thought I was one of the statues. Can’t see how that was possible, given that my backside isn’t gray.

After that, I was REALLY ready to go.

My sister bought some things in the gift shop. All I wanted were the two pictures that I’d prepaid for as part of our tickets.

Then we walked around a little, taking a fruit break at Whole Foods before walking around some more. We basically wanted to spend enough time until the restaurant opened at 4 PM.

I’d heard stories about Brazilian steakhouses, especially how they’d continue to bring meat to the table as long as your card showed green. I thought that I’d flipped my card to red in time enough not to feel stuffed. I was wrong, but not regretful. We enjoyed every delicious bite, along with my sister’s friend who’d joined us. We took dessert to go.

2024 Leap Year Day

Leap Year Day 2020 landed on a Saturday. Of course, I hosted a potluck BYOB plus some to share party at my place for a few friends. This was one of the last in-person events that I’d both attended and hosted.

Fast forward to the present year. Leap Year Day had the nerve to land on a Thursday. Not only that, but I’d relocated back to my parents’ home. The two biggest joys I had was wishing patients a “Happy Leap Year Day,” and wearing my Flash Gordon socks all day long, including during dance class after work.

I’d first wore my Flash Gordon socks for the start of Leap Year 2016 when I produced and hosted my theme-inspired, monthly spoken word and storytelling show, “The Austin Writers Roulette.”

When I finally brought the show to a close after 8 years, half of my closet consisted of costumes and accessories, including my fancy socks.

As part of my relocation back home, I donated or gave away many of my costumes and accessories. The socks remained.

I’ve not outgrown dressing up for Halloween or any reason, for that matter. In the foreseeable future, I can imagine wearing those socks every four years. Or else an ever better Leap Year Day costume.

From Austin with Love

Although the Bob Marley movie dropped on a Wednesday since it was Valentine’s Day, my sister and I watched it on Saturday. Even if this movie wasn’t officially a sing-along, how could I not sing along?

Showing Off My Crown

As a matter of fact, we were the last two out of the theatre after the movie ended because I was happily singing along. I rode those good irie vibes out the door despite all the violence, cheating, and dying before one’s time. His life was a reminder to stand up for your beliefs while at the same time doing what you love and appreciating those who you love since you’re not promised tomorrow.

Sister Pose

The next day, I met the choreographer and CEO of the African dance troupe that I was a member of in Austin. She was the first Austinite friend who came to the great state of NC, so of course I hopped in my car to meet her for lunch. Definitely worth the 90-minute drive. Besides, very happy to take a daytrip.

Impromptu Selfie

I’d sent her a link for some Black owned restaurants. However, the one that we chose was closed on Sundays. A minor point we only discovered once I’d driven us there. By sheer luck, we asked a couple who crossed our path for a restaurant recommendation and followed them.

Adult Coffee & Crepe

Initially, I didn’t think I wanted a crepe and coffee. Yet, my decaf Irish coffee and hearty, flavorful crepe hit the spot. Not only that, but at that time of day–we’d entered 20 minutes prior to closing, we still got the royal treatment. I figured if this was how they treated the last stragglers, then I must remember this fabulous restaurant for another visit.

Closed Down the Joint

For the brief time that we were together, we exchanged war stories, examples of the struggle being real. Although I was grateful to receive the snippets of life in Austin, I cobbled together the interesting things I was doing. Mostly, juggling creative projects while at home since my present home city was nothing compared to the vibrant social scene and opportunity found in Austin.

I continue to make the creatively best of what this city has to offer and that with each passing year, life has been more interesting than the last. My attitude has made the most progress by making the best of the situation and not missing what I no longer have.

Super Bowl Fan

Last year in mid-April, Dad fell, resulting in a fractured hip. In his 80s, Dad’s life-altering accident meant that going places had been very challenging. Even within his own house.

Bought in 1979, my parents’ house has three sets of stairs. Upon entering the front door, one can go down three stairs to the den or up four stairs to the kitchen/living room/dining room area. Once on the second floor, one can go up the longest flight of stairs to the bedrooms and bathrooms.

Going to His Recliner

Over the past several months, Dad practiced walking with assistance, but always relied on the chairlifts for two out of three of the stairs. The stairs leading down into the den remained off limits. Until the evening of the Super Bowl.

A week prior to the event, Mom had finally won the hard-fought battle of in-home caregiver assistance seven days a week for six hours a day and at least one day with twelve hours for her respite.

Given that extra pair of hands, my sister and I wanted to bring Dad all the way downstairs to join us, watching the Super Bowl. At least so he could see the first two quarters, some commercials and the much-anticipated Usher halftime show.

Not that Dad cared one iota about any of it. Of course, Dad used to enjoy watching sporting events on TV all of the time, but the portable TV that he watches in his bedroom, which is brought down to the living room where his recliner is, isn’t connected to cable. He watches the free programing available through Firestick.

Most evenings, Dad starts his protest for someone to take him upstairs so he can go to bed an hour or two after dinner. Mom counters that he cannot go to until around 7:30 PM. Otherwise, Dad will wake her up before sunrise, wanting something or other.

One of the miracles of the Super Bowl, from the start until the end of the halftime show, was that it held Dad’s attention. He didn’t doze off, protest to go to bed nor ask for anything. Once the halftime show was over, we had no problems transporting him up the short flight of stairs to the first chairlift, the second chairlift and to his bedroom.

The entire evening wore Dad out, but in a wonderful way. There aren’t too many TV events that would hold his attention nor be worth the effort.

Now with the warming weather and the new preowned wheelchair van, Dad will be venturing out more often. At least we now know that part of his adventure will include the den.

Stretching with Goats

I’ve taken many stretching and yoga classes before, but never with goats. I would have taken this 90-minute stretch class even without the goats, but they were definitely the stars of the event.

Kids in the Cubbies

This was the first time in their monthlong lives that they had been inside a building. Initially, their hooves couldn’t find purchase on the smooth floor, but goats are natural climbers and adapt to any terrain. Once they figured out how to walk, their first destination was checking out the cubbies. Didn’t even matter that it was a deadend. Couldn’t blame them though. How often do humans dwell in deadend situations as if we’re doing something?

Cuddling with a Kid

But we didn’t allow the four stars of the event to hang out in the cubbies. Their human hadn’t bothered to name them since she’d plan to give them away in the near future. In the meantime, we just referred to them by their diaper colors: Black, Purple, Red and Orange. So, I posed with Purple while Red photobombed.

I’d asked many questions the week prior to this event such as how many baby goats would be present, how much they weighed and their size. I just knew that they’d jump on everyone and everything. However, they were remarkably shy around us, but very curious about nibbling on the curtains, the artificial flowers and other decorations.

Feeding Time

At one point, their human put them on our backs while we were in child’s pose. They skedaddled almost too soon before a picture could be taken.

Next up: the babies needed their bottles. I fed Black, the only male goat. He took that bottle so aggressively. The last time I’d fed a goat, I was a kid myself at a petting zoo. As Mom stepped backwards, trying to capture a good composition, she thought she’d stepped on someone’s foot. When she turned around to apologize, she saw that she’d stepped on a goat’s hoof while it was nibbling on the hem of her shirt.

Action Pose

Then, I passed Black to my friend, so she could feed him. After a while, she passed him off to another woman to feed him. That’s when all hell broke loose. His diaper had loosened, releasing dry fecal pellets all over her mat. My friend and I had dodged that bullet.

Yet, Black kept getting out of his diaper. Just like a rebellious guy.

Speaking of a rebellion, for seemingly no rhyme or reason, one kid would bleat and get the others going. The stretch instructor did her best to talk around their noise, but we were half-distracted anyway by their antics.

Sleeping Standing Up

After being fed one bottle each, the kids were ready for a nap…standing up. Three of them congregated around the mirror while the fourth curled up near the corner. Whatever was in that milk, I need to drink some of that to help me sleep some nights.

As advertised, the interactions with the goats left me much happier than when I’d arrived.

My Sultry Little Valentine

I’ve hardly ever experienced the cliche, romantic celebration of this so-called holiday, but I’ve always looked for interesting activities such as a themed pole dancing choreography class. The workshop was so popular that students doubled up on poles, which suited me just fine because I would have been exhausted had I danced the entire two hours.

As a matter of fact, the woman who I shared with, hadn’t taken classes as long as I had. So, I gave her some basic pointers about hand, shoulder and foot placement. So much of pole dancing is physics.

However, I’ll need more years of practice before I can dance with the emotion and artistry of my teacher:

A Better Bull’s Eye

Hard to believe that I’ve been working on my World’s Sexiest Dictionary for several years now. So long in fact, that a pandemic has come and gone and yet, I’m still working on this project, which was a radical idea at the time and even now, still motivates me to pour energy into on a daily basis.

Computer Paper & Watercolor Crayons

My humble beginnings started off with regular computer paper and watercolor crayons. My logic was since the crayons was a new medium, I’d start practicing with the cheapest paper possible. If I could make that look decent, then I’d spend money on the better materials.

When I was at a social event, I told an art teacher about the illustration project I was working on. Without knowing what assbackwards method I had been using, she asked if I using a digital illustration app. Of course not, but I took her advice.

Rough Draft Digital

A month before the 2020 COVID pandemic shutdown, I bought a tablet and the digital app and started my journey to learn another new medium. Not only was it an easier process, but it was portable and involved no clean up.

One of the many lessons that I learned in having to complete 156 illustrations was that my inner critic had to be OK with leaving an illustration looking “good enough,” whatever that meant at the time. I had faith that my technique would improve over time. All I had to do was keep moving forward.

Final Draft Digital

I’ve called this third rendition of the 156 illustrations the “FINAL” set. I’m not going to stop digital illustrating, but I’ve finally hit a level with this project where I could complete them, publish them, and then move on.

Time will tell how many more years that’ll take.

Unicorn Sighting

When I signed up for my Sunday hot yoga class, I noted that the class would be taught by a sub. Although I really liked the regular instructor, whose thematic playlists included “spelling bee” (songs that spelled at least one word), and cars/”riding” (songs that mentioned cars or sex), I knew that I’d still get a good workout.

Since I’d attended class at that studio several times, I confidently set up in the front row beside the only other person in that row, a Black man. A few minutes later, one of my dance friends set up in the front row on the other side of me. My attention totally went to talking with her as we did our pre-class warm ups.

After finishing my hip-opening exercises, I laid on my back with my eyes closed for a few minutes.

When I heard the substitute yoga instructor welcoming the class, I didn’t immediately open my eyes, but, I’d hoped that he wasn’t looking at me since I trust that I pulled a face.

The Black guy beside me was the sub. I knew that the sub would be a guy, yet I wasn’t expecting a Black guy. I’d practiced yoga for over 30 years and had white/Asian/Latino/gay/recovering addict male yoga teachers, but NEVER a Black male.

I admonished myself for initially picturing a white sub. I wouldn’t have mentally put myself in the time-out corner if the sub had been in any other demographic.

Throughout class, I processed my assumptions, but not to the point that I didn’t keep up with class. I still got my experience’s worth, especially with one of my exercise friends right beside me, who motivated me to do my best. After all, in the other stretch class that we attended, that instructor would literally call us out if we didn’t take the advanced modifications for certain stretches.

After class, I thanked the sub, just like I did after every other class I’d attended. I also took myself out of the corner, comforting myself that other than my initial reaction to discovering that the yoga teacher was a Black man and possibly his seeing a brief change of my facial expression if he’d happened to be looking at me in that moment when he started class, I hadn’t outwardly acted differently.

Since I believe in being the change I want to see in the world, I openly acknowledge my bias. I also realize that no matter how open-minded I am, assumptions still sneak up on me. My only saving grace was that I still practiced as I would have normally. I even avoided any awkward or microaggression of over-thanking him for being the first Black male yoga teacher I’d ever had after three decades.

I’m going to save that revelation for after I know him for a while.

MLK DAY: A Place for Dad

I used to advise people to hug a Black person as part of their MLK Day celebration. I’d even ask people who weren’t Black if they had hugged a Black person on this day, and then offer to give them a hug to help them celebrate. Honestly, that may have been the only thing they did or only time they ever celebrated, but it’s better than nothing.

My sister and I were looking for something to do since we both had the day off. Yet, nothing was happening in town. Even the out of town celebrations didn’t quite speak to us. And then it happened: Dad fell out of bed.

More accurately, Dad miscalculated and ended up on the floor. He had arranged the sparse furniture in his room to put himself into his wheelchair. His plan was to exit his bedroom and then place himself into the wheelchair lift to go downstairs.

I heard the thud from the den and raced up two flights of stairs to maneuver him back in bed.

I used to say that Dad has “early dementia,” but that’s a hazy explanation about how Dad thinks. Dad has lost his mental acuity, yet he still remembers who we are. More importantly, he remembers who he is. A tough Vietnam Vet chestnut who’d attempt to rig up an escape route out of his hospital bed just to go downstairs.

Mom said that he’d forgotten that he couldn’t walk. I disagree. I believe that Dad, like most people, can achieve some incredible things when he puts his mind to it. Most days, he has no motivation to exercise even though that would help with maintaining and improving his leg strength, especially when he wants to take himself downstairs without our assistance.

While Mom hopes/wishes/prays for Dad to walk again, I’d had enough. I researched senior living facilities to accommodate Dad. Not just for his sake, but for Mom’s as well. My motivation is to place Dad in a facility before Mom can no longer be independent.

As Dad’s primary caregiver, Mom’s mental and physical health have been compromised from trying too hard to maneuver him, assisting with most daily activities and then restbroken when he calls for her in the middle of the night.

The plan came together. I arranged tours of three local facilities, which all offered memory care, the highest level of assisted living without being a skilled facility. I think. It’s all still very new to me.

Whereas some people perform community service on MLK Day, the service I performed was for my parents. My sister stayed with Dad while I helped Mom navigate to the facilities and take notes during the tours.

As it turned out, the facility that we both liked the best was the furthest away. All three seemed close in price range even though they differed in the level of quality from resort to asylum.

Even before we toured the facilities, Mom found the idea of filling out financial aid paperwork, which detailed their assets to be abhorrent. At least she learned that Dad would probably not qualify for additional VA benefits since he’s 100% disabled.

To say that she clutches the purse strings tightly is an understatement. Yet, she has to make the decision to place Dad in the best place she can afford before her own health deteriorates further. At the same time, Mom continues to hope/wish/pray for Dad’s mobility to dramatically improve.

All I can do is assist her with doing research and keep my sisters informed about what’s going on. We seem to be on the same page, but Mom cannot be rushed. Mom believes that she’s going to “sleep on it.”

Until Dad breaks her sleep in the middle of the night.

Later during the evening on MLK day, I attended a dance class. I offered to give a hug to anyone who hadn’t hugged a Black person. They all rushed in for a group hug.

2024: Start of a New Leap Year

I’d made the best use of a 10-day vacation, which ended on New Year’s day. Although I’d slept in every day, I was creatively productive, which was the best gift/celebration I could ever ask for.

Mom & Me in Our Xmas Sweaters

While sporting my new Christmas sweater, I made some recipes that I’d been wanting to try out for months, but hadn’t taken the time to make.

First up was making “bacon” out of coconut flakes. I flavored it with liquid smoke, paprika and some other things that I cannot remember, then baked it in the oven for a few minutes. It was one of those tastes that you’d expect you’re not going to like, but it never quite reached the “dissatisfaction” point. Doesn’t mean that it was very tasty either. Yet, for days, I sprinkled some on my pasta and eggs in the morning for breakfast.

I quartered Brussel sprouts, coated them with coconut oil, seasoned them and baked them in the oven. While the sprouts baked, I made a cheese sauce. The part that apparently only I liked about this dish was that I’d boiled the fettuccine only to al dente. When my sister tried my pasta, she told me that the pasta wasn’t cooked all the way. I told her that it was the texture that Italians ate their pasta. She glared at me, saying, “We ain’t Italian.” Mom didn’t bother trying it, which means I had most of my delicious pasta for myself.

Brussel Sprout Fett w Coconut “Bacon” Flakes

The next morning, I tried my hand at baking bagels in the air fryer. Not that I’m a big bagel fan, but more out of curiosity of making bagels with Greek yogurt. Now, this was a recipe that I’d try again. I underestimated how much the dough would fluff up, making those tiny holes that I’d pierced in the middle were useless. Had there remained a hole throughout the baking process, then the bagels may have been cooked all the way through due to the increased surface area. The easy fix was to slice them in half and microwave for a few seconds. Still delicious.

PreCooked Greek Yogurt Bagels

On New Year’s Day, I wanted to start the year off right by dressing up. To honor the leap year, I put on my colorful socks that have wings at the top. Any excuse to dress up, really. The picture has too much going on in the background to clearly see the wings–or the chopping knife! I’ll just try to maintain the fun energy in this picture throughout the year.

Leaping into New Year