Author Archives: mathdreads
Dollars & Sense
Strutting my way to Bikram yoga one day, I noticed a quarter lying on the sidewalk. Barely breaking my stride, I swooped down to pick it up. To my dismay, it was a nickel. Now, was this just a case of objects appearing bigger from a distance? Or the sign of the financial times that … Continue reading
Wraparound Boot Skirts
I got the creative, money-saving idea to make my next costume for the Austin Writers Roulette “Walk in Another’s Shoes” event. At the time, I hadn’t received my federal refund to rent or buy used outlandish shoes. So, I brainstormed wrapping my boots in decorated cloth. Foolish me actually thought the decorating would take more time. … Continue reading
Avenging Angel of Literacy
I hardly ever pass up the chance to dress up. So, when one of my coworkers solicited volunteers to help her run the Literacy Coalition information table at a local comic book convention, I got very excited. Now, this wasn’t the BIG, internationally famous comic book convention, but since it would be the first one … Continue reading
Flame Retardant
The energy shifted Her expression contorted Pointed finger wagged in my face Words shot out of her mouth As I sat confused Then the magic word RETARDED Slowly Fresh oxygen circulated I took a deep breath Explained I’d said the R-word In reference to An assbackwards TX educational policy Not a person Never would I … Continue reading
Pubic Hair Cornrows
The pursuit of seeking logic behind anything the women’s fashion industry does is foolhardy since its sole purpose is to convince as many women as possible that she’s not wonderful the way she is, but can come closer to achieving the ideal beauty if she buys into their nonsense through buying their overpriced, sweatshop-produced clothing … Continue reading
The Hullabaloo
Her scream startled me awake. I listened. More noise meant I had to get up. Silence, I could linger in bed. Regardless, I closed my eyes again. I held the irrational belief my mosquito net protected me from all danger and hullabaloo. Hullabaloo defined by my Merriam-Webster word-a-day calendar as “a very noisy and confused … Continue reading
Couponing Rediscovered
By the time I resigned from teaching full time at the end of March 2014, I still had stars in my eyes. I’d dutifully paid off all debt, saved up six months’ worth of money and had big dreams of launching my freelance writing/editing career. Although I’d landed a couple of lucrative writing/editing contracts, there … Continue reading
Valentine’s Day Vasectomy
Men, are you facing yet another Valentine’s Day bad date? Can’t bear another year of giving the cliché gifts of assorted chocolates, a bouquet of flowers and reservations at some crowded expensive restaurant? This year, do you want to do something unconventional and guaranteed to get your woman interested in having lots of sex months … Continue reading
MLK Weekend Celebration 2015
I find celebrating MLK Day to be just another day in my life. Since graduating from college in 1992, I’ve dedicated my life to teaching math and science to mostly nonwhite populations, starting with my Peace Corps assignment in Tanzania. Additionally, I read books about African American history, current events and participate in African diaspora culture throughout … Continue reading
Redemption Coupons
“Redemption” means “being saved from sin, error or evil” and it also means “getting the possession of something in exchange for payment or clearing a debt.” So thanks to the craziness of the English language, Jesus redeemed all Christian souls through his sacrificial blood in a related manner that customers redeem coupons. Granted, one deal … Continue reading