I started disliking my primary care physician in the middle of 2025 when she kept giving me the same “advice” that she’d given before despite our previous conversations. I mistakenly thought that she would tailor her practice based on the patient in front of her. Instead, she kept acting as if I weren’t in menopause.
A part of me wished that sweet young thang a nice long life. Long enough for her to enter menopause and regret all the bad advice she’d given patients like me. By the end of the year, I had a new PCP.
For most of my adult life, I’d chosen women healthcare professionals since their firsthand experience of being women led me to believe that I would receive better care, especially if they were women of color. A rarity.
Now, that I’m middle aged, I realize that, in addition to having a woman as my PCP, I need an older woman. Older PCPs won’t condescend to me about having to lose weight because she’ll already know what a losing battle that is without HRT (hormone replacement therapy), an appetite suppressant, or some other intervention therapy to address the effects of a declining estrogen level.
The “exercise more and eat healthy” advice falls flat. I already exercise on a daily basis, don’t over eat, and have improved my diet. Even though I’m stronger and more flexible, I’m about 15 pounds heavier than I was in perimenopause.
Additionally, when lab work returned that my calcium level was elevated, a condition known as hypercalcemia, my former PCP never advised me about what may have caused that. I’d simply asked if taking calcium twice a day for the full daily amount could have contributed. She agreed and I adjusted by taking my calcium supplement once a day. End of story.
Except…
I’d requested a DEXA scan. The former PCP informed me that I didn’t need one until I was around 65, but I insisted.
I don’t want to be superstitious and say that I felt it in my bones that I needed a bone density test. Or that an angel had whispered in my ear that something stirred in my bones.
Whatever the case, the results revealed osteopenia in my left pelvic region. Upon reading that, my first thought was, “That bitch would have had me wait a decade later to get my DEXA scan and by then, I could’ve had osteoporosis!”
I took several deep breaths, comforting myself that I no longer had that PCP.
Once I researched the condition, I learned that osteopenia led to elevated calcium levels. Breast cancer can also cause hypercalcemia. My former PCP addressed neither possibility.
On a more positive note, my new PCP, an older woman who was familiar with HRT, messaged me that my latest lab work showed that my calcium levels were normal and that we’d discuss next steps in April.
In the meantime, one of my friends, who occasionally took dance classes with me and taught yoga, gifted me a discounted yoga instructor package. Since the cost was the same regardless of whether I registered for 200, 300, or 500 hours, I signed up to get the biggest bang for my buck.
When they emailed a reading list, I enthusiastically checked out three of those ebook titles from the library. I dedicated myself to taking a copious amount of notes. Not only was I too cheap to buy the books, but I also wanted to be mindful of not adding to the collection of material things. Besides, I supplemented my notes with online searches, mainly to define terms.
One ebook motivated me to research which poses were effective for addressing osteopenia in my pelvis and another pose to address my piriformis syndrome. I’d never even heard of that body part before.
One day in yoga class, I described a pain I experienced. The instructor, who used to be a massage therapist, informed me that it was probably caused by my piriformis, not merely a tight hip. Up until that point, I’d stretched to loosen my external hip muscles (abductors) with mixed results.
The full circle moment came when I researched relieving my piriformis through yoga. I’d already known of the stretch: pyramid pose. Doing that posture a few times a day, did more for the pain than temporarily numbing the muscles. I’d bought a collection of topicals to see which one worked the best. Instead, all I had to do was take about two minutes a few times throughout the day to stretch.
I’d bought a standing desk to help break up long periods of sitting while at work. Now, I’ll incorporate stretches in addition to that.
In previous years, I’d chosen challenging yoga moves to target an area that needed more conditioning, in terms of strength and flexibility. Now, I’m targeting poses to alleviate pain. As one yoga studio advertised: Yoga Is Medicine.