I usually arrive early to my hot yoga class to both acclimate to the room and work on some personal movement goals prior to class. I choose the best spot to set up given what’s available when I enter the room. Mat placement is an on-going challenge.
Wherever that place is, becomes “my spot.” For a limited time only. Then I leave, relinquishing whatever sense of ownership I had. As temporary as the attachment is, my awareness is brought to how much stock I put into my choice when I have to relocate.
Not all reasons are equal. For example, if there’s a full class and we all have to readjust our mats, I’m very cooperative and my temper doesn’t flare. But when circumstances involve me and, let’s say, the poor choices of some other person and their yoga buddy, then I start to simmer.
Recent example: I unrolled my mat adjacent to a spot that was near the wall. Normally, I would’ve taken the spot closest to the wall, but there was a saucer-sized dip in the floor, which I’ve dealt with before. Throughout my practice, avoiding that spot in order to retain balance distracted me.
Another woman set up her mat by the wall while I was in the middle of doing a warm up stretch. A few seconds later, another mat rudely plopped down between us, alarming us both.
“Oh, you want to practice beside me?” She asked the interloper.
I looked up to see a child who was 11 to 13 years old. Definitely her child. Of course he wanted to practice beside his mother. They’d come together. Why wouldn’t they practice side by side?
My temper sizzled: ALLTHATEMPTYSPACEINTHEROOMANDSHECHOULDN’THAVECHOSENASPOTWHEREBOTHSHEANDHERSONCOULDPRACTICEWITHOUTDISTRUBINGSOMEONEELSE?
I kept my rant to myself as I moved my mat over to the next space. Before I had reestablished my sense of possessiveness over the new spot, the instructor advised me to move over a little more to avoid colliding with the son during one of the postures she had lined up for that morning’s practice.
As I moved the mat over a little more to the right, I announced to the mostly empty room, “If I have to move my mat one more time, fight club is going to break out.”
Everyone laughed. Apparently, they didn’t acknowledge the grain of truth embedded in that proclamation. I felt aggressive. Fortunately, class began soon after, which helped distract me from my anger.
Throughout practice, I soon discovered that he had a beneficial position between two women who were seasoned yogis, since no matter if a pose had us looking left or right, he had his mother as a guide on one side of him and me on another.
Even more so than my mat placement challenge, controlling my temper is definitely the biggest challenge. I’m so happy that throughout my life, my anger hasn’t caused me to do something detrimental that I couldn’t undo or work around afterwards.
Having a balanced temper is far more important than being balanced in a posture. I wish that as I gain physical balance that mental balance improved in tandem. In my experience, the latter lags behind the former.
I’ve made a point to meditate on other things, yet I think avoiding the negative consequences of losing my cool may be the most important focus I can develop. I believe in the notion of improving how I respond to external things by improving myself internally.
Amen