Ch. 23: Out of the Box

Day 6

For the fifth week in a row, I completed another canvas. Not only is this the penultimate painting, but it has been the least time-consuming to prep and paint. Quite convenient, given the fact that my schedule was “off” due to a few novel activities. Normally, the best way for me to complete a project of this magnitude is to do a little every day. What great timing this canvas arose during a rather hectic week in my life when other things had to take precedent.

In this scene, the twins have worked their way “out of the box,” achieving a new plateau of understanding and redefinition. The thing about being out of the box is no box should appear. Plus, in order to show how they changed, I painted them with a glittery acrylic, which doesn’t show up as sparkly in this picture as it does in reality. I stuck with convention and kept their signature colors: purple for Infinity and red for Negativa. For a fleeting moment, I thought about switching their colors, but even when people, ahem, mathematical characters, change radically, there are echoes from their past.

All 23

There it is, the chandelier acting like the star of the show! Its appearance unofficially signals I’m near the end of this project. I’ve laid aside the manuscript, except for the opening scenes, for a few months now. As soon as the 24th painting takes its rightful place, I’m combing through the manuscript since 2016 is the year to bring this ebook to life!

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Ch. 22 Painting: Come to Jesus Meeting

Day 7

I took stenciling to a whole new level when I prepped this canvas. In order to scale this properly, I quartered the picture by cropping it and zooming the sections on four different pages. Then I cut out several pieces and reconstructed the “puzzle” on the canvas, omitting things in the shot I didn’t want.  Essentially, I took out most of the ornateness and left the bare minimum details to suggest a church. Even the crucifix came from a different picture.

The most challenging picture to find was two women sitting in this position. I particularly like how Negativa has her back to Christ and Infinity faces him.

I spent about 3 1/2 hours finishing up this painting on Friday just to stay on schedule and under a week. I usually don’t like spending that much time in one setting, doing any creative project with the possible exception of hand sewing.

This canvas represents the shortest scene between the sisters in the whole manuscript. Negativa tells Infinity how she’s disappointed in her. Infinity is happy about that since she doesn’t want to be a new messiah only to be crucified.

All 22

I’m closing in on the end of this painting series; so I’d like to view that encroaching chandelier as the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel–versus the impending train wreck.

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Bumper Sticker Life’s Advice

1 me w AWR sign

Life Is About Kicking Ass, Not Kissing It. I’ve studied three styles of martial arts just so I could fulfill a childhood dream of being an Amazon, but there’s more than wishful thinking behind my pursuit to be as physically and mentally strong as I can. We women have continued to influence society and evolve.

And I Give Evolution Two Opposable Thumbs Up. The complexity of our hands is only bested by the complexity of our minds, creating things our hands cannot grasp. Yet we are evolving into a better society by pushing against ignorant restraints. In jest, I talk about “primitive feminism”: shouting, kicking and other aggressive forms of argument.

Although A Kick In The Ass Is Still A Step Forward, what a waste of formal education and higher thinking if we only respond to our changing environment with our reptilian brains. When bad things happen, we can either be its victim, its survivor or its conqueror. Rarely do we rise to such occasions without life provoking us into it. We can still advance and emerge into a much better position than we originally imagined as long as the fruits of our own labor enrich us.

So, When Someone Tells You They Got Rich Through Hard Work, Ask: “Whose?” Don’t assume that they worked their own way through anything. They could be among the privilege who merely inherited the spoils of hard work. Only those of us who’ve schemed, dreamed, hustled and bustled can truly boast about our self-made accomplishments. Rule number one to making yourself: break a rule or three!

Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History. What we admire the most in all legendary women are not the female minions who blended into society, but the ones who stirred things up and proved to us, once again, a daring woman’s action was not prevented by the laws of physics. Merely the misogynistic social and religious laws, which sought to keep her in her place. Every time a woman vanquishes a false belief or practice, we should celebrate.

So, Forget Your Troubles And Dance. When you hold your head up high, laugh at yourself and go to bed exhausted from living another passion-driven life, you sleep well and wake up rested to live up to your fullest potential all over again.

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Ch. 21 Painting: Infinity Pancakes

Day 8

Once I put the gooey maple syrup on this tall stack of blueberry pancakes, I craved pancakes!  I used stencils for everything, including the twins. Only challenge was omitting their chairs.  I figure since they are mathematical characters, I could justify having them levitate in a seated position.

In this chapter, Infinity explains how cooking her self-titled “Infinity Pancakes” recipe is simply edible ratios. Negativa only cares about the end result, regardless of the underlying math governing the kitchen chemistry of ingredients.

All 21

I have proudly struggled to get all 21 of these paintings in the shot. Yet moving furniture out of the shot just to get them all in while simultaneously not getting the chandelier in the shot means lying on my back at an angle and holding my breath to minimize shaking the camera. Totally worth it as I near the end of this series.

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Ch. 20 Painting: Reoccurring Patterns

Day 9

An artist friend described painting #20 as “full and chaotic.” She also said it was her favorite of the series so far.  That one review makes the enormous amount of time spent last weekend on prepping this canvas totally worth it. I was happy it had turned out so decently since I’ve invested a lot of time on other canvases only to concede due to my lack of skills. I believe this canvas demonstrates more than the previous ones how a lack of skill doesn’t mean lack of talent. I’m a talented storyteller. I still need to work on my painting skills.

In this canvas,  I painted two Fibonacci sequences. The first sequence was made from fruit, animals and a palm leaves. The second sequence was in form of a spiral. Negativa subconsciously recreated this numerical pattern. Infinity picks up on it first since Negativa was so involved with gathering materials to make the spiral. Underneath both spirals was a color-coded fractal design, peeping in between the figures.

The twins aren’t in this canvas, thanks to making the stencils too big.  I previously worried how I’d get the perspective correct between the layout of the floral and fauna spiral and the twins. So, without having the women, this canvas was still plenty challenging, but looks far more polished in the end. Hopefully, this will be the only painting where the twins aren’t present. According to painting #19, I’ve become quite good at painting their faces.

All 20

Now I’m down to the final four with the wall of 20 complete. I’m amazed how well I endured the cold, windy rain on a small dry-covered patch of my balcony to finish this canvas. I’ll be mostly bundling up for cold weather from here on out.

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Margaret Atwood Talk @ TX Book Fest 2015

1 political seats

I was the plus one on a special “friends pass” to hear Margaret Atwood in the Texas State Capitol during the book festival. I’d heard other writers speak at this venue before, but always from the nosebleed section.

3 roulette hat

While rifling through her things to get notebook and pen ready, my friend dropped one of my business-card sized Austin Writers Roulette flyers out of her bag.  The solution? Decorate her hat with it!  If only I could make that a fashion trend.  After four years, some people have actually heard of my show.

2 MA from afar

Here’s what I learned from Margaret Atwood, who is also a teacher, a common trait among us writers that must stem from always reading, writing and wanting to shed light on the uninformed:

  • She has participated in many writing experiments to keep herself creatively challenged.
  • One such writing experiment: she sealed her writing in a box, along with a number of other writers and transported the box to Norway where trees have been planted. By the end of a century, the boxes will be opened and the paper to print it on will come from the trees that were planted a century ago.
  • She claimed that politicians make decisions without considering long-term consequences.  As a result, some laws have been reversed because they cost too much.
  • My favorite quote from her talk was: “Access to books and reading is one of the cornerstones of democracy.”
  • She wrote for “Zombie Run,” an interactive audio story where runners are encouraged speed up and slow down, according to the story.  Her episode of the story took place in Toronto. The government and hockey team have been zombified.
  • Her sage advice to a Literature and Composition instructor of a college freshman class who were loathe to read and were mostly business and engineer majors: have them write a business plan for how zombies and vampires can accumulate wealth over time.
4 w:MA

I guess one of the biggest take aways from hearing her interview was that I should keep my teaching license current in addition to creating my other art outside of teaching.

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Ch. 19 Painting: Food, Friend or Foe

Day 8

Up until now, I’ve always had plenty to critique about a newly completed painting. Yet, this canvas, despite whatever flaws my hypercritical eye discerns, makes me so incredibly happy I’ve continued this endeavor. Although the twins mostly look good because I used stencils, the faces are my all mine. And what faces they are! The expressions work; they look like identical twins; their hair is fabulous.

In the beginning, I’d sketched the unknown as a square in the middle of the bottom of the scene. That looked too simplistic. I knew I could step it up a notch. Give a little more motivation for the twins to make such intense eye contact with the unknown, which they’ve encountered in a jungle. They have cautiously approached to assess whether it is food, friend or foe.

All 19

Check out the display wall: like a six-year old with a missing a front tooth. The next painting will take its artful place by the close of a week. That’s a promise to both myself and this project. The chilly mornings have arrived. I now have to bundle up in order to paint. My hands must grow numb as I don’t have  a pair of painter’s gloves. Actually, gloves would make my hands feel as if they were in straight jackets and I certainly don’t need any more handicaps in that department.

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Ch. 18 Painting: Cyber Pimping

Day 9

Initially, I wanted to create a grid for the background with tape. The painting tape had other ideas. I went with it. Although I had no idea what “cyberspace” looked like, those lines reminded me more of sound waves. Yet, I chose a night sky blue with some shooting star action behind Infinity with the palest blue between her and the laptop screen. My favorite part was Negativa sprawling on the keyboard and hanging out.

In this scene, the twins have started their own online business. Infinity refers to it as a dating service, but Negativa cuts through the gloss, seeing it for what it truly is, cyber pimping. Despite Infinity’s insistence that dating algorithms are involved to match people, Negativa counters that rich people will pay for dates with poor people who will consent to sex as part of the date. Additionally, older men with money want much younger partners, male or female, whereas older women with money will date someone plus or minus five years their own age. When Infinity questions her sister about who young people with money will  match up with, Negativa quips that such people don’t need their service.

All 18

I’m so excited to close in on the completion of this project. I’d like to start the publishing process at the beginning of 2016–only a year later than I’d originally planned due to finances and finishing these paintings.

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Halloween Celebration 2015

1 cleopatra

Unofficially, my Halloween celebration started on a Wednesday, a few days before my favorite holiday of the year. A local library invited the Austin Writers Roulette to perform in their monthly reading. Since I usually dress up to match the roulette theme, I had a myriad of costume choices since this occasion had no theme.

2 group shot

Three other authors joined me for the event. In a way, it was easier to produce this show since we’d all written bios, didn’t have to set up chairs and we’d all arrived by thirty minutes to showtime. The librarian who’d contacted me about this event was amazed. I told him I always asked my artists to arrive an hour before the event just so we could start on time. Besides, when a group of talented, creative people gather together, the quality of the conversation is so rich. We took our traditional group picture well before the show started.

3 Donna

Donna Dechen Birdwell opened the show, reading an excerpt from her speculative fiction, Way of the Serpent.

4 Mackenzie

Mackenzie Irick Milks read a short fictional piece about a granddaughter returning to the islands for her grandfather’s funeral only to learn the sordid details about his life.

5 Stephanie

Stephanie Webb shared instances of her personal challenges of being a well-educated black woman marginalized in Austin.

6 me reading

I read three excerpts from my racy first novel, Tribe of One, about a single black women looking for love while still being a smart woman about the pursuit. One of the excerpts was about a one-night stand on Halloween and another was about the infamous “vibrator research” chapter. After reading that last one, I broke the news to the audience: the actual vibrator the main character decided to buy didn’t exist.

7 Dinner @ Cenote

Afterwards, we moseyed across the street to eat dinner. Fortunately, the restaurant offered 1/2 price bottles of wine! The intellectual conversation, which had begun before the show, continued. This was the kind of occasion I always say I’d like to participate more in, but never seem to organize. I’m so glad it just happened.

8 my entre

Truly a feast befitting of a queen: a well-seasoned and composed salmon sandwich on fresh bread with a side of potato salad.

9 Donna w headress

Donna couldn’t resist wearing the Cleopatra headdress!

10 Arlana & me

A few days later, I dressed up as “Soul Sistah #9” to attend a 70s pot luck and disco party. I borrowed a friend’s larger-than-life Afro wig and was happy to see the hostess and her husband were both sporting Afro wigs as well.

10.1 me on sofa

This red sofa had my name all over it; so this shot was inevitable.

11 decor

Since I arrived so early, due to the intermittent heavy rains, which did not delay me much, I entertained myself by taking pictures of the decor.

12 decor

The party hosts had a room, separate from their house, dedicated to the 70s.

13 decor

In addition to vinyl, concert posters of my musical heroes decorated the room and doors.

14 decor

Looking at these artists, I wondered how many of the new entertainers today will enjoy such name recognition longevity.

15 decor

They inspired me since, despite their success, they continued pursuing their passion.

16 decor

One partygoer modified a pair of pants with some 70s style flair. We traded costuming stories. Come to find out, she’d taught outside the States. I wondered if there was some connection between international teaching and costuming. 

17 70s pants

Speaking of costuming, we were all so happy John Travolta’s iconic “Saturday Night Fever” suit was in the house.

18 Karsten

Despite the torrential rains and flash floods caused by tornado watch conditions, many of us still turned out to share soul food 70s style. This meetup group has been growing in both size and creativity when it comes to its themes.

18.1 dinner party

After everyone finished eating, “we” (meaning other people while I sat and watched) moved the tables and chairs to the side to clear the dance floor.

19 disco scene

How wonderful was singing and dancing to every song that played!

20 disco scene

The only challenge was trying to remember all the 70s style dances.  No one knew how to do the hustle. I kept wishing my two older sisters had been there. They had been club-going teenagers during the 70s.

21 disco scene

As if this night couldn’t get any better, there were three contests: best costume, best dancer and best dish.

21.1 disco party winners

We were all awarded with stereotypical 70s gifts: an ol’ school electronic football game, Simon and a lava lamp!

22 Halloween dinner

The following evening, one of my friends knocked on my door just as the first bowl of curried chicken and rice had completed warming up in the microwave. I immediately warmed up a bowl for her and made our white wine sangria. Actually, I’d chopped up the fruit and froze it hours prior; so they were like fruity ice cubes.

23 waiting @ Trace

We arrived downtown prior to all the craziness–even too early to enter the Zombie Ball, our final party destination. While we waited for another friend to join us, we chilled out at a nearby restaurant.

24 pixie lashes

Once she arrived, we saw we were wearing the same Pixie eyelashes.

25 group shot @ Zombie Ball

We chalked it up to a female capoeirista thing.

26 group shot @ Zombie Ball

The first thing we did was take a couple of souvenir group pictures.

27 SnP DJs

The emcees dressed as “Salt N Pepper” to honor the headliners–although they were standing in the wrong order initially.

28 burlesque dancer

The most impressive female burlesque dancer of the night had an elaborate headdress.

29 burlesque dancer

At one point during her routine, she removed one of her plastic snakes.

30 her snake

Except this one was LIVE!

31 her snake

I’m so glad she didn’t get at all freaky with that snake. As she danced, I thought about how snakes were the ancient symbol of female sexuality.

32 band

A funk band that sounded and dressed as outlandish as Parliament and George Clinton performed.  They had their own dramatic dancers.

33 costume finalist

My friends and I went outside to sit down. A woman approached me and gave me a ticket to be part of the women’s costume contest. For the first time since I’ve been attending the Zombie Ball, my poor little country mouse costume looked good enough to compete! I truly didn’t care whether I won.

34 vudu witch

I enjoyed getting future costuming tips, especially from this “Voodoo Queen” who was a finalist last year.  As a matter of fact, the voting came between her and another woman who had a guy chained to her as a gimp slave–she (and he) won.

26 big mouth zombie

I didn’t notice how gruesome this woman’s costume was until I got up close and saw the collar was made to look like torn flesh. Yet, she, like me, didn’t really know how to hype the crowd to sell our costume. I rely so much on emoting my words. 

35 zipper zombie

Zipper-faced zombie had applied an actual zipper in realistic fashion. Just the kind of make up costuming that I haven’t explored yet.

36 wolf n sheep

Even wolf in sheep’s clothing had awesome costume makeup.

36.1 Antoinette

Zombie Marie Antoinette with Glinda the Good Witch behind her both were selected since they had very high headdresses–Voodoo Queen, who is a professional costume designer, clued me into the fact that people correlate “quality” with the height of a headdress. 

37 male dancer

In all the Zombie Balls I’ve attended, they never once had a male burlesque dancer.

38 male dancer

And a black one at that!

39 male dancer

I’m guessing this guy performed since Salt N Pepa were the headliners.

40 male dancer

(Author’s Note: That’s his HAND between his legs!)

41 aerial dancers

The dancing aerial group followed his performance.

42 aerial dancers

I loved their little zombie sequence. They had to do the beginning over again since the music failed the first go around. Better a music fail rather than an equipment fail!

43 aerial dancers

Every time I see aerial dancers, I tell myself the same lie: I’m going to take a few classes, knowing full well I don’t like pain. Nonetheless, maybe once yoga heals my hips…hmm, sounds like I’m lying again.

44 aerial dancers

Then, we, the audience, went back in time 30 years and enjoyed an 80s styled concert.

45 aerial dancers

They even gave us a hip-hop quiz by playing the first part of an 80s song, abruptly turning off the music and allowing the audience to belt out the lyrics.

46 SnP

By the end of the night, we electric boogalooed out of there.

47 SnP

Absolutely fantastic way to end a three-day Halloween celebration.

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Lurking Below

11 me

I am the thing lurking below your bed underneath your goody box of condoms, lube, porn and sex toys. What you don’t dare shove into your closet among a sea of skeletons gets secreted beneath the bed, adding to my power and causing you a fitful night’s sleep.

Every night, I seep into your head, your subconscious. You toss, turn, brew with unsettled conflicts emanating from me. My mountainous putrid manifestation denies you sleep.

You suffer my deathblow pummels nightly like a train that’s never late. Your futile efforts to protect yourself, clinging to the bedspread; however, the comforter brings no comfort. It is under my command, and with serpentine motion, slithers around your limbs, impeding your movement. Slipping around your neck, nocturnal noose apnea.

My gang of vicious dust bunnies marks out their territory amid the increasing density of things you hide under the bed. Burrowing through the festering labyrinthine trash heap of unresolved issues, each generation growing less empathetic, more adventurous, exploring additional dark lurking spaces to take cover. Laying in wait for you to forget they’re there and slip your hand unknowingly into their briar patch to retrieve some innocent thing that dropped and rolled under the bed. And fool that you are, you reach for it blindly. Oh, you got a flashlight, but you think you only need it for a power outage. Don’t you know things done in darkness recede before the light? Yet in the dark, long fangs of fear nip at your fingers.

Some of your demons have human faces. They lodge deep into your mind. I spring them free despite your eclectic collection of useless succor ritual: voodoo dolls, amulets, lucky charms, fervent prayers, sacred chants, mind-altering sleep aids. Everything but your most powerful mojo–standing up for yourself.

Until you do, you’re my little bitch. You wish you had insomnia. I’m something worse. I know your secrets. Your vulnerabilities. The things you don’t want said, I say. The things you want to forget, I remind you. I tap dance up and down your last nerve while pushing all your buttons.

Guess what? The cliché is true: you are your own worst enemy. You made me. You are too much of a coward to destroy me.

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