Different Tribes

It’s been scientifically proven that the idea of race is unscientific. Even when we talk about the “human race,” what we are actually referring to is “species.”  (The definition of a species is a population of organisms that can breed and produce fertile offspring.) With the influence of global media, people around the world can share common experiences and exchange ideas.  The pursuit of technological advances in all disciplines cause the walls of  bigotry, violence, poverty, and despotism to come crumbling down.

Our collective enlightenment motivates us to seek kindred spirits, regardless of nationality, ethnicity, and gender. Instead, what has begun to emerge is a redefinition of “tribe.” Traditionally, tribes have been thought of as closely genetic-related people who share the same customs, yet even within blood-related family members, we witness such a difference of lifestyle, politics and beliefs, the only common denominator is common ancestors. A popular belief is that you choose your friends, but you cannot choose your family. As experience and innumerable examples have shown, just because two people are very genetically similar, does not mean that they are going to get along.

It’s natural for people to gravitate toward like-minded individuals and become friends. For every hobby, political outlook, or passion, there is at least one social group where someone can periodically congregate. The more often the group meets, the more time individuals have an opportunity to participate in group-think. This is the grassroots of tribe formation.

Depending on the tribe, a lot of diversity, in terms of how groups of people used to be categorized and artificially separated, can be reflected among the members. With this phenomenon in mind, I reflect on the many tribes I belong to. I am a member of my family tribe, a tribe of educators, a tribe of writers, a tribe of dancers, a tribe of capoeiristas, a tribe of college-educated people, a tribe of heterosexual women.

Now some may argue, why should I say “a tribe of writers” rather than “a tribe of artists”? Or why should I include the adjective “heterosexual” rather than simply say that I belong to “a tribe of women”? I welcome such questions since, they reflect the very reason why “race” became unscientific concept. Depending upon the criteria, the outcome will be different! I can comfortably belong to the tribe of women as long as there is no criterion of being either married or a mother.  Some languages, such as Swahili, reflect this girl/woman bias since the title for a “woman” is “mama” and the word for “girl” reflects having an unbroken hymen.

I like the idea of social tribes because of its flexibility, given the situation. It also shows that people can change tribes in order to reflect who they happen to be at the moment in their lives. Such fluidity would lead us to explore other avenues, knowing that knowledge and experience is not confined to blood relations or geopolitical borders. The proliferation of social tribes encourages a continuous exercise of critical thinking and reading.

As humankind advances, the social tribes will emerge and survive as the result of enlightenment and cooperation.

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I’m Rich! I’m Awesome!

Christmas room (1024x768)

The annual Christmas trip back home to visit my family, including nieces and nephews, went as predicted: lots of laughs, stories, trivial bickering, far too much food and far too little exercise. Within seven days, I only managed to gain six pounds and do a half set of bikram yoga twice and something that one of my little nieces called a “cheerleader’s workout,” which consisted of many backbends in a row and different stretches to improve doing the splits.

Mom & Dad (1024x768)

What I lacked in physical exercise, I made up for in creative productivity. I read a lot of poetry by one of my friends. I earmarked the poems which I felt would work in the upcoming “New Dreams & Visions” roulette on January 13th. Then, over the course of several days, I finally completed the “100 African Americans Everyone Should Know” powerpoint that I’d promised to make for the upcoming African American history event at school. Logically, I should have done this over the summer, but I was so engrossed in putting together The Austin Writers Roulette that I kidded myself that I would work on it in my spare time at school since I was only teaching one prep. Ha!

Me w decorated bottle (785x1024)
sobrinas by Xmas stockings (1024x684)

Since this was my third Christmas since living in Austin, I was determined to continue my tradition of giving Texas-themed gifts. Some received jewelry in the shape of the Lone Star state.  Others received iconic symbols, but everyone received a gift that was made by a local Austin artist.

Renee w TX earrings (1024x768)

Two wonderful gifts came in the form of visits by friends of the family. My nieces and nephew’s godmother came on Christmas day, bearing gifts and sharing dinner with us. Another fabulous visit came the day before I hopped on another plane to return to Austin.  One of my Peace Corps friends came over, bringing her three beautiful and adorable children and one of their friends, who’s referred to as a “cousin.” Toward the end of their visit, the youngest child, a precocious five and a half year old started running through the house, singing at the top of her lungs, “I’m rich! I’m awesome! I got money! Gonna take a shower with my money!” after getting a winfall during a game of Life.

Alec w Tshirt 2 (765x1024)

I’m certain when I was that age, I didn’t know the word “awesome,” but I recognize the energy and showmanship of the youngest child, especially the third of three. So, from one youngest child to another, I’m going to shout my joy and blessings all the way into 2013!

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Down Home Again

I faced a little more drama than usual on my annual Christmas trip home. First of all, the famous “Mayan End of the World” countdown came to a heads the day before I hopped on a plane. Since the world didn’t come to end, as I knew it wouldn’t, I finished up my Christmas shopping at a very reasonable price.

For some reason, my plane was delayed by two hours. The weather in Austin was a perfectly balmy day, but I think the conditions where the plane was coming from was the problem. Nonetheless, the flight back home was uneventful, given the delay and all the babies on board.

Much to my surprise, Virgina was not as cold as I’d anticipated. Since it’s so dry, the drop in temperature was not as dramatic as it would have been in moisture-rich Austin. So much of my enjoyment of my visit back home has to do with just simple physical comfort. I’ve not had much use for a heavy winter’s jacket since I left Egypt in 2003; so I rely on lots of layers.

One side benefit of traveling is catching up on my reading. Fellow prolific poets have given me their makeshift poetry books to read and they’ve been sitting on my desk at home. Now, I’m slowly making my way through them. There are several writing projects and a powerpoint that I’m also putting together…I will love the day when I can fulfill my full-time artist fantasy.

Saving the best for last, my parents, other sister and nephew have finally arrived and we all went out to dinner. Now we’re going to relish lots of food, conversation and laughing…the real gifts.

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New Dreams and Visions

As a quintessential Virgo, I never stop planning ahead. The close of any year usually brings the global introspection of what we want to do for the new year. People make frivolous resolutions to start exercising more, eating healthier, perhaps even looking for a new job, love or something more unconventional.

As for me, one of the goals that I had for 2012 after filing my taxes was becoming a millionaire.  Since then, I discovered several different ways not to make a profit. Nonetheless, I feel successful because I started my own event, The Austin Writers Roulette. One of the many things that I learned in the process was how to apply my organizational and analysis skills to a new situation. I fumbled in the beginning with all the details of putting together a show. What I came up with was a terrific line up that needed better promotion and a bigger audience to appreciate the poets and spoken word artists who were gathering together once a month to read their theme-based works.

Promoting in such a happening town such as Austin is a challenge. There’s definitely a huge crowd of people who are interested in poetry and spoken word, but those same people are also interested in many other things as well. I’ve felt in direct competition with other venues that have much bigger PR budgets and more people whose full-time jobs were to promote their venue.

One resolution I made two months before the New Year season of resolution-making was to move the roulette to a more viable location, one that had a stage, lights, chairs, tables, a kick-ass friendly and supportive staff, and an impressive PR campaign.   I found all the preceding at Strange Brew.

Once I landed a place in their schedule, Carmencita, my right arm, updated our 2013 flyers to reflect their address and I got 2500 postcard sized flyers printed up and started enthusiastically passing them out. So many people claim to love that coffee shop/cyber cafe and to live “just down the street” from it. I’m no longer naive to believe that just because someone says that they’re going to come to a show, they’ll actually do it, but at least they already know where the place is! 

Another change that I’ve already put into action is to contact certain artists with a personal email in addition to the all call for submissions. Now that I’ve gotten to know certain artists and they have performed on the roulette a time or two, I’m slowly building a nucleus of artists whose work is good quality and varied in their approach to the theme.

I’m going to continue going to at other venues at least once a week in order to promote, recruit and possibly participate. Truthfully, I need to attend more than once a week, but in reality, as long as I have a full-time job, going once a week will be as much as I can handle when not on vacation.

In the long term, I’ll carry over my resolution to become a millionaire. I’m quite conscience about how much money I’m spending and plan to save as much as I can. I still maintain that money can buy happiness with the right set of priorities. I plan to be much happier in my life as I transition into being a full-time artist.

Categories: Upcoming readings/signings, Writing | Leave a comment

No Hotdogging Around

This past week at school has been intense. Not because of the students or, miraculously, the administrators. I’m in the final countdown of the number of classes until my little ghetto brats take their finals. In the upcoming week, I’ve three more days with my A classes and only two more with the Bs.  Fortunately, the only good thing that has come from the overemphasis of testing is that my B classes are a day ahead; so they’ll both finish up equally.

Nonetheless, in the last three class meetings leading up to the finals, I’m presenting new information without much moment of pause. I’d slowed down the pacing in the beginning of the semester in order to tutor my students during class time since the vast majority cannot fit tutoring in their teenage angst-ridden schedule or reconcile it as part of their habitual motivations. Now I can no longer afford the luxury of having them to do majority of their work in class, which means (gasp!) they actually have to complete their work outside of class, whether it’s at home or not.

This’ll be an intense time for me as well. One of the major goals that I accomplished by Friday morning was putting the final touches on the semester study guide and getting the guide photocopied to offer to the students. Out of all the students on Friday, only a handful in the last class of the day requested to have their study guide this coming Tuesday. I was impressed at least with the acknowledgement of most of the students that it was better to have their study guides sooner rather than later, especially since I warned them that we probably would not have any time during class to work on it together.

Saturday, my normal routine changed, but I remained just as busy. I started my morning writing, then I took a luxurious hour to work on three paintings. I’d checked out “How to Draw Magic and Fantasy” from the school library, but I only flipped through it since the weather was so beautiful that I could indulge in painting. I do all my sketching for when it’s too cold to go out on the balcony and paint. I then went to the capoeira studio to wait for the guy bringing 30 rental chairs for the last event that I’m hosting in that space.

After arranging the chairs in a circle, which is this month’s theme, I dashed off to pick up my new prescription glasses. I jokingly told the optometrist that I was merely swapping one set of birth control glasses with the next, but truthfully I’d picked out a stylish pair of new specs this time. I dashed from there to the library for a screening of “The Inconvenient Truth about Waiting for Superman.”

About 30 of us turned out for the hourlong film. I appreciated that the audience was small enough to allow for a good discussion, but large enough to have parents, students and educators mixed in. Viewing that movie, I felt more empowered about the work I’m doing in the classroom, given how there’s a national conspiracy against both public schools and veteran teachers. It’s no coincidence that, depending on the class, my student population ranges from 60 to 80+% at risk students. Thanks to the war against teachers two years ago, my class size has exploded, which means even less time can be dedicated per student. Now, the growing trend has been to intimidate veteran teachers into quitting or early retirement, starting with sudden negative evaluations, placing them on “growth plans” and other tactics to discourage veteran teachers who are more likely to call out questionable practices and cost more money.

Following the housing bust of three years ago, education is now poised as the biggest untapped market for hedgefund managers. In addition to the lucrative market represented by standardized testing, taking over public school space and monies in the form of corporation-run charter schools is the new money-making venture.

Essentially, corporations have far more money to lobby the politicians, who will readily throw working-class and poor parents under the bus along with their kids. As a charter school, they can cherry-pick the students who will give them the high scores on standardized tests. If the selected students don’t perform well, then they kick them out of the charter school, retaining the “good” students who increase the overall test scores and concentrating the at risk students in regular public schools. And for all the corporate money and deck stacking, their students overall are not better educated in vast numbers as one would expect, given the fact that virtually none of the corporate-run charters accept students with learning disabilities or English fluency issues.

Part of the reason is that, like a business, corporate-run charters attempt to keep costs low. Inexperienced teachers are cheaper and as soon as they burn out, then the business can just hire the latest batch of inexpensive, energetic, inexperienced teachers to educate the cherry-picking.  Disgusting.

The ray of hope at the end of the discussion was the fact that the recently elected school board members are against this latest corporate-run charter and will have the ability to stop the spread of the infection. In addition, there is a survey available that anyone can weigh in on about the newfangled standardized test, STAAR. I cannot wait to share my  two cents!

After the meeting, I quickly whipped up my lunch for the week, and got myself together to go shopping with some capoeira friends and then hangout at a sports bar. One of my ulterior motives for being a part of girls’ night out was to survey other women about a certain sexual practice, which we codenamed “eating hotdogs.” As with virtually any sexual conversation, we had a lively discussion, arriving at 10 pros and 28 cons of eating hotdogs. I’m eventually going to type up my findings for a piece which I plan to read at the Austin Writers Roulette in February, which is themed “Cupid’s Naughty Secrets.”

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Describing the Essence of Orange

One of the aspects of teaching that keeps me coming back for more is when the students say something so insightful that I ponder the ramifications long after the fact. One such jewel dropped from a student’s mouth when I was circulating around the room, helping my Physics students with their study guide in small groups. Inevitably, there was one group  that just wasn’t focusing as well as the others. They had hardly started; so I sat down with them and reviewed the difference between vector quantities and scalar quantities.

Of times, science students get tripped up on vocabulary even if the concept behind the term is easily understandable. So, I repeated the definition of a vector quantity, which has both magnitude and direction. Then the next vocabulary pitfall was “magnitude.” Instead of simply telling them what the word meant, I gave them examples of magnitudes such as their age, shoe size, height, weight. For ten of the longest minutes of my teaching career, I attempted to get one of the four students to say the magic word that was synonymous with “magnitude.” At one point, a student confessed that he felt that I was trying to get them to describe the essence of the color orange. At the time, I thought the comment was so outlandish, I quickly dismissed it.  A few minutes later, one brave soul carelessly said, “Numbers?”

I erupted, “Yes, yes, yes! Magnitudes are numbers! So scalar quantities, like your personal statistics, are represented only by a number and vectors such as displacement, acceleration, velocity and force have a number and a direction!”

The classroom was eerily quiet for a few moments, then the students collectively let out a sigh of relief and giggled at my temporary insanity. After class, my student’s magical phrase, “describing the essence of orange,” came back to intrigue me.

I thought I was giving clear, logical hints to lead my students toward the word “number,” but there was no connection to the pattern I wanted them to see. I loved that my student used an analogy about color since how would I describe orange or any other color to someone who had never seen color before?

I could have that person to taste the sweetness of a ripe orange. I could take that person outside during both the sunrise and sunset and let them feel the sun when it was that color, but could I reconcile those three experiences with the ESSENCE of orange? I could take the physics approach and talk about wavelength and how all the other colors are absorbed except the orange wavelength, which reflects into our eyes, making the object appear orange, but is that scientific explanation the essence?

In retrospect, I’m relieved that my job is merely teaching physics.

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With Much Gratitude

This was the first time in a couple of years that I wasn’t participating in an annual tango festival over the Thanksgiving holiday. Instead, I celebrated Thanksgiving four times with different groups of people.

The first was a monthly poetry potluck that occurs every third Saturday at a private residence in Dripping Springs. This was only the second time I’d attended and I’d even brought along another poet who had read his powerful piece about a life-altering accident at The Austin Writers Roulette just the previous Sunday. Of course, my favorite part of the evening has consistently been where we all sit around a large round table in the kitchen and enjoy each other’s food and enlightening conversation. What a perfect antidote to all the money-greedy logic that swirls around us on a daily basis.

The second Thanksgiving celebration occured on Monday at the studio where I train capoeira. Instead of having an actual training class, we had a berimbau workshop, where all of us capoeiristas sat in chairs in a circle (roda) and played the different rhythms (tocas) that our teacher led us through. Although I’ve been taking capoeira music classes for nearly a year, I could never distinguish one from the other. Yet, when our teacher wrote out the berimbau tablature on a white board, that made the music more tangible for me. I’m sure my understanding would greatly increase if I actually bought a berimbau and practiced at home. Yet, I don’t need one more instrument to add to my graveyard of untouched musical instruments.  I still keep my guitar in its case and my practice drum kit in its box with the promise that “one day” I’ll have time in my busy schedule to take classes again, which will motivate me to start playing again.

After an hour of playing, we capoeiristas slowly drifted away from the berimbau roda and toward the ever-growing food table, especially when our contramestre arrived with all the food he’d ordered, mostly red meats, beans, rice, but there was a curious absence of turkey…not that I am complaining!

Tuesday, my school hosted a pie contest, where the teaching staff and faculty were all invited to bring a sweet or savory pie.  Two lucky male teachers were recruited to be the judges, a job both foolishly thought was wonderful in the beginning.  Once they got to the tenth pie, they looked ready to vomit. Up until I suggested it, they didn’t even have a bottle of water to help them wash down the samples in between pies.  My pie didn’t win, but I enjoyed the brief camaraderie, which was sweet and fleeting like the best-tasting pie on one’s palate.

The fourth and final Thanksgiving occurred on the actual day. A fellow capoeirista who’s mostly been out of the country on a photography assignment breezed back to the States a few months ago and landed at a beautiful house out in “the country.” I’d love to make friends like he has with beautiful homes where I could just crash for a few months at a time while I worked on my art.

At any rate, the dinner guests were mostly capoeirista orphans along with some of the host’s other friends. One humorous trend among our capoeiristas is the fact that so many of them play chess and whenever we get together, an unofficial chess tournament breaks out. They talk far more crap than one normally hears during a capoeira roda! For some reason, I have never remembered to bring my go board, which is a strategically more challenging game than chess, but I think what I like the most about it is that every piece has equal value; it’s the strategy behind the moves that causes one piece to be pivotal to the overall winning of the game or not.

Nonetheless, my mind was focused on bringing wine, a bottle opener, my unique-looking wine glass, homemade cornbread and the corda I’d been working on.  The latter was an incomplete project that I’d started during a corda-making workshop three weeks ago. Every capoeirista wears a corda to show their skill level. Although some groups just use a rope, which is dyed as the player advances skill levels, in our group, we braid the cordas.  I almost have the skill, but at least I had my own entertainment in the beginning  of the evening when the host and contramestre played chess and I had no one else to talk to; so I braided.

I enjoyed the different social groups and mixes of food. It’s wonderful that the focus of Thanksgiving is now celebrated with a coming together of “family” and the food is the star. I’m such a foodie and Thanksgiving is my second favorite holiday, after Halloween, where everyone puts their best dish forward…then feel guilty about how much they’ve eaten afterwards!

I managed to avoid that guilt since I didn’t gain a single pound. I didn’t overeat even though I sampled all the food I cared to eat.  I stuck to my bikram yoga routine, which helped process and burn off the food. Plus, I made it to my regular Saturday morning capoeira class during which contramestre nearly trained some of us to the point of vomiting!

In addition to eating and exercising, I avoided the Black Friday shopping frenzy by making my own holiday cards.  This is the second time in a row that I’ve done this and I’m so pleased that I’m getting better at my card-making skills.  As a matter of fact, I was less motivated to cut up most of the paintings on my walls since I’ve also become a much better painter.

Since I’m still “allergic” to Facebook, this is about the only way that people who I hardly ever communicate with will get any word from me. And boy, what words they are getting from me!  I wrote out about half of my greeting cards during a tripy open mic and the rest, I’ll write out on location at a 24-hour internet cafe. When I spoke to my mother this morning about what I intended to do later this afternoon, she confessed, like so many apathetic people who I’ve heard from, that she’s cutting back her Christmas card sending.  She’s only going to send to immediate family and those who send her a Christmas card early in the card-sending season.

It’s ironic that she feels this way since she usually attends church.  I, on the other hand, hardly ever attend church, but I read the Bible every day and pray every night.  I just feel that the only gift I’m going to send some people will be my handmade greeting cards, which is a dying art and also one of many of my creative pursuits. When I reflect on what the purpose of my life is and how I spend my limited days on this planet, I know for sure that I’m not wasting my time using my talents pursuing happiness and sharing my art.

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Between Bikram & Malbec

I don’t want to be “that teacher” who complains about the lack of vacation time, but for the fourth year in a row since teaching in Austin, the stretch between Labor Day weekend and Thanksgiving has been the worst time of the year. I’ve never noticed that before. Perhaps teaching outside the States for a collective 11 years, with a combination of American and host country holidays, have helped keep me sane throughout the school year stresses.

Over the past 4 years, I’ve absorbed the local culture and recreated my lifestyle, just like I always do when I move to a new place. Technically, Austin’s not exactly new to me, but every year feels nearly new since I explore another aspect of this wonderful patch of the universe. When I first arrived, I danced salsa at least once a week, trained capoeira 2-3 times a week, wrote every day and drinked a glass of merlot or cabernet with dinner.

Fast forward a few years and now I still train capoeira twice a week, drink malbec with dinner, write every day and I’ve managed to fit three bikram yoga classes into my busy schedule, which includes organizing The Austin Writers Roulette.

Despite my stress-relieving exercise schedule, writing outlet and wine consumption, my subconcious still slips me an occasional reminder that there are unresolved issues I still need to strategize. The most recent reminder came in the form as a familiar dream: I was driving a Landrover through a jungle. The road was bumpy, and adding to the challenge, the thick foliage. Nonetheless, I managed to maneuver well until I came to a sudden clearance, opening into huge, muddy canyon.

Since I was aware that I was dreaming, I allowed the Landrover to leap into the canyon, landing safely along one of the walls and continue rolling down. As exhilarating as the ride was, I woke up and instantly knew the destination: despair.

That word just popped into my mind. All the negotiating through the jungle represented obstacles that I face. The canyon of despair appeared because I felt tired. Not the kind of tired that comes from a few lost nights of sleep in a row, but the accumulative fatigue that sets in over a protracted period of time of working hard and feeling that very little progress is being made.

A bikram yoga class, glass of wine and good night’s sleep later, my new destination was hope. I’ve learned a while back that fatigue dulls my creativity and my best course of action was to rejuvenate myself as quickly as possible. In the middle of the next yoga class, I came up with a brilliant solution for work and a clever idea for the roulette. Two for one!

As this year comes to a close, I’m excited about the upcoming plans I’ve made and the new opportunities as they unfold.

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Cocaine Spiders

I can clearly remember  back in 1988 when I was 17 and knew that I knew EVERYTHING. I’d skated through high school without having to study, had filled out my college applications by myself and was accepted to all three choices by October of my senior year because, after all, those colleges could see from my transcript, recommendations, and essays that I knew it all.

Even when I graced the campus of The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill with my presence and struggled with calculus and history, those experiences didn’t shake my firmly held belief that I knew EVERYTHING. Those were just two things that were boring anyway; so not really worth knowing. I had a less than stellar GPA, but I knew I could better if I’d wanted to. I was too preoccupied with newfound freedom away from my strict parents.

As a senior at the start of my spring semester, I finally acknowledged that this sweet  college life was about to end. I’d have to make a decision: either go to grad school or get a job. Instead, I became a Peace Corps Volunteer. One of my older sisters had the bright idea to organize a going away party and advertise the things that I needed on my packing list. I focused solely on those material items without once reading more about Tanzania or Swahili beyond the information that was given to me in my orientation packet.

I figured, with two months of training, I’d be all set with the language and besides, I was smart, adventurous and well-educated. I hit Tanzania like a typical wide-eyed tourist from a developed country. I was initially enthralled by the beauty of the country and the friendliness of the people. Even the exotic infrastructure of contaminated tap water, intermittent electricity, quasi-toilets and crater-sized potholes amused me.

And the ignorant questions Tanzanians asked me because I happened to be black: Did you come to Tanzania because of that Eddie Murphy movie, “Coming to America”? Do you know Michael Jackson? Which one of your parents is white?

Now that last question, I thought was the strangest of all, since although I’m light skinned, both of my parents are black. I firmly told any Tanzanian who cared to ask, but it seemed to be a national concern since among the things delighted Tanzanian children would yell at me when they saw me walking by was “half-casti” or “half-caste.” Just how many half-caste people had there been in Tanzania for young kids to know that English-derived taunt? (Nearly twenty years later, I finally asked my mother who was the white person in our family tree and it turned out to be my great-great grandfather. Since that was during slavery times, we don’t know if the encounter was a result of sanctioned rape or forbidden romance. So in conclusion, I’m 1/16th white, which means that I’m STILL 100% black.)

Just as I was entering stage two of culture shock where the mental walls started to cave in and everything foreign to me became frustrating, the first crack in my arrogant shield appeared. As Tanzanian after Tanzanian tried to engage me into a political conversation about the United States, I was at a loss for words. This was more than me not taking a general interest in politics. I couldn’t even talk much about American history. The average educated Tanzanian knew far more about American history and geography than I ever cared to know.  For the first time in my life, I was embarrassed about how little I knew about EVERYTHING.

I’d grown up in the land of plenty, but it was mostly material things and pop culture with very little substance.  I’d received the perfect Cold War education: heavy on math, science, and literacy. Those fluffy subjects such as PE, art, foreign language and history were just there to make me more well-rounded.

Tanzania was my first experience with working abroad. Since then, I’ve worked and traveled in several different countries and I’ve read as much as I could to prepare myself before living/traveling in each prospective country. Now  I’m painfully aware that there’s more information about more things than I can possibly read about or experience during my lifetime.

For all my research, travel and varied experiences, I look back and laugh at that arrogant 17-year old I used to be. Every day, I’m reminded of something I don’t know, but can quickly look up on some reputable websites. And I’m humbled everytime I attend trivia night at a local bar. I proudly boast to my team in advance that my best contribution will be giving the team a name. The best team name I’ve come up with so far is “The Cocaine Spiders,” which describes how my best effort to braid a capoeira belt looked like a spider on cocaine trying to spin a web. The team name was a hit and another teammate came up with a little move to go with it. Just put your hands beside your ears and wiggle your fingers.

No trivia team I’ve ever been a part of has won first place. My 17-year-old self would scoff in contempt within the safe confines of her big happy, ignorant bubble.

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Corda-Making

Similar to other martial art traditions, capoeira has a ranking system that is color-coded. Instead of using belts, we use cordas (cords or rope). With the first group that I trained capoeira, we used undyed rope as our cordas. As capoeiristas advanced, the rope was dyed to reflect the skill level.

With the group I train with now, the cordas are braided using several strands of yarn, which are divided into four equal parts. I must admit, I originally thought that I’d have no problem picking up the technique since I know how to braid hair. Ha! That may have caused me more trouble. During our corda-making workshop, I undid my pitiful-looking corda, which reminded me of the picture in my high school Biology book of how badly a spider spins a web when on cocaine. The other capoeiristas eventually got the hang of it and advanced.

I didn’t mind being the slow kid in class since I’ve had other successes in life and realistically knew that I wasn’t going to catch on to every new skill quickly. As a matter of fact, right beside me, was the whiz kid of corda-making and he completed one and a half  cordas by the end of the night to my one fourth of a corda.

The best part of the workshop for me was when the capoeirista who was teaching us sat down beside me and had me mimick exactly what she did. Turned out, I was making it more complicated than it needed to be. I took my unfinished corda home with the promise of completing it. The ironic thing about the entire evening is that I had requested the workshop and turned out to be the least talented at it.

Here I go again, making another analogy between capoeira and life, but it’s one of the ways that I analyze my current situation. As I contemplate a change in career, I have taken an inventory of the skills that I have, but more importantly of the skills that I lack and want to acquire. I realize that any new career that I embrace, I have to start at the entry level. The trade off for me is the opportunity to learn a new set of skills. I may not catch on quickly, but with the right mentor to guide me, my desire to learn will see me through any learning curve.

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