I knew ‘Rona had destroyed a little part of my soul when I wasn’t in the mood to dress up for Halloween, my favorite holiday as an adult. Granted, I had no place where I wanted to celebrate Halloween, but that never stopped me every other year. Last year, I dressed up twice for Halloween celebrations and never left my apartment. This year, I couldn’t even think of a single thing to dress up as. Unofficially, I went as “Apathy.”
I’d cancelled Thanksgiving plans since I didn’t know my COVID status until Saturday morning following the holiday, but I still had a relaxing, joyful time with a coconut vegetable curry dinner, then a gathering with a dear friend and her extended family after I found that I was COVID-negative.
Even so, Christmas wasn’t on my radar until Mom sent me a family group picture somewhere around DC, posed in front of giant Christmas tree. That picture zapped me out of my Rip Van Winkle time warp. Yes, the holidays still continue even if I’m not in the mood for them.
For years, Thanksgiving signaled the start of hand-making Christmas cards. That time came and went. I barely threw together a Christmas kickoff for myself on December 1st when I sipped eggnog and watched “Jingle Jangle.”
A few days later, I made four Christmas cards and ordered Austin-themed gift baskets for my family. I thoughtfully researched the contents of the basket, so that everything in them would be appreciated by someone in the household. For example, there were a few baskets that had coffee, but my parents don’t drink it, so their basket doesn’t have any. On the other hand, my two nieces and occasionally their mother drink coffee, so theirs could have it.
Yet, for some time now, my life has been one of mere homeostasis with punctuations of some different shit that, by default become the highlights of the week. It’s survival mode, straight through the holidays. Funny how so entrenched in the sameness of my schedule that Christmas caught me off guard. At least I caught it in time to be a part of it.